The Difference
by iamruthesque
Summary: [Discontinued] An InuYasha Love Story
1. Part I

[ The Difference :|: Princess Faux ]

Disclaimer: "Inu-Yasha" is the property of Takahashi Rumiko. The story and the characters do not belong to me; I'm merely borrowing them for the amusement of other Inu-Yasha fans out there. Seeing how I just said that, don't you dare come near me with a lawsuit.  
  
"The Difference"  
Princess Faux  
----------  
Kagome trudged through the forest, unsure of her destination. The girl picked up her feet, trying her best not to get caught in any of the shrubbery below her shoes. Her skirt fluttered softly in the wind and her white sailor shirt was a stark contrast from the rest of the surroundings. The green scenery never ceased to amaze her. Sure, in her time, there were all sorts of trees and flowers and bushes, but not like it was here in the Feudal Era. Here, trees were everywhere, surrounding her like nothing else can. The air and the huge blue sky just enveloped her and made her feel so alive. She took a breath of the fresh clean air and continued on her journey.  
  
She had been here for a couple of days now, and even then it seemed so long ago since she had a nice, warm bath back home in a clean tub. She sighed wistfully, yearning to soak herself in a soothing, hot, long bubble-bath. But Inu-Yasha wanted her here to help him with his little shard hunt and if he wanted her here and he had asked her to stay like he had, she knew she wouldn't be able deny him, even if she wanted to.  
  
Her nose pinched daintily as she knew she was in a no-win situation. She sighed yet again in the same last minute and then took a seat on the fallen log in front of her. 'A no-win situation,' she thought mournfully. 'Why do I even put myself through this?' Her heart ached a little, knowing that he was somewhere out there, and that the chance of an encounter with him and Kikyo together was possible. Love was a disgusting little thing. It was. Truly, it is. How sorrowful it is to know that you love something so much that you would give life, love, home and heart for, just to see that person smile, to see that person happy. Disgusting. Really, it was. To know that one would give up everything to see that person live, and live contentedly at that. Everything.  
  
'My life, given,' she thought, listing off the things. 'My home... my heart.' She had given up her life, almost all of it, for him. Her school work, set aside, only to be touched upon once every two weeks... once every week if she was lucky. Her family set aside, for him. She barely saw them anymore, and only then, it was to get more supplies for her stay here. Her home. She left its comfort and security, the luxuries of her own room, her own private bath for a crude home in the Feudal Ages: no warm running water; a hard floor for a bed. There was the security of the comfort of knowing that her family was nearby when a burglar might happen across their humble shrine instead of the constant fear of being eaten by demons and all sorts of monsters. Her heart. Her hopes, dreams and happiness was set aside for his hopes, his dreams, his happiness. Her own meant nothing to her now. All that mattered was his.  
  
Her nose stung in an all too familiar way, and her eyes burned as they started to form tears. 'Honestly!' her mind cried, scolding her. 'Crying for no reason at all!' She wasn't being very strong anymore. She remembered when she first came and met him, how head-strung she was. How very so independent she was from everyone else. She depended on herself, and no one else. But now... she felt so utterly weak and helpless. The tears fell down her face willingly. 'But I am crying for a reason,' she told herself.  
  
A part of her knew she had given up everything for him--not because he asked her to, but because she wanted to. She scoffed a bit, knowing that he probably had no idea how much she was sacrificing for him. That same part of her knew that she had lost everything of who she was for this person. Truly, she had lost everything; sometimes, it felt as if she had given so much for him, she had gotten so lost into who he was, in his dreams and in his hopes, that she had gotten so lost from herself--she didn't even know who she was anymore. It was like the matter of knowing where he started and where she ended... she had heard of that once. She had heard of her schoolmates talking amongst themselves about true love... how true love was when two were so in love, so united with the other, that one didn't know where one ended and where the other began. But this, this was quite different. His whole being engulfed her in such a way that it felt like she didn't even know that she had started much less ended. 'Kuso, I'm making no sense!' she reprimanded herself sternly.  
  
The last thing that she had wanted to do was sit somewhere and mope about him. 'Goodness!' she cried in her head as she groaned out loud. They had gotten in a fight--it was just a mere argument over something trivial, but she had gotten upset to the point where she didn't want to see him or feel him like she always had been able to. She had always been able to feel him inside the back of her mind. It was like a faded memory that was there, sometimes comforting or irritating to her. And if it wasn't just a feeling that was pushed to the back of her head, it was a prickling sensation on her spine that either soothed her like a gentle caress in knowing he was nearby, or grated her nerves like it had been doing as they were fighting. She had always been able to feel that sensation, ever since the first time that she came through the well.  
  
She remembered it well. The light shining in the forest, beckoning her to come. And when she did come, she knew that it was no accident that she had been drawn, been pulled towards him. Because somewhere in the depths of her mind, she knew that he was there.  
  
Kagome had walked away from him, wanting to be alone. She wanted to be far from him, so far away that she couldn't feel his presence in her mind or head, just so she could find herself again. Love was so horrible to her that she had to take a 'time-out' just to find out who she was again.  
  
Clenching her fists tightly, she couldn't understand how this 'love' thing works. She read all the books, the romances, and fantasies of the notion of romance. The doter doting on the doted... one loving, the other loved. They were all the same... One falls in love, the other doesn't. Yet in the end they end up together. Or, to make the plot even more complicated, one falls in love with another, while that special other falls in love with yet another special other. 'Argh!' she wanted to scream. Love was frustration, plain and simple... yet so aggravatingly complicated!  
  
Why? _Why_ is it that when one falls in love there is an indescribable urge to help that person find happiness? _Why_ is it that it doesn't matter how costly that person's happiness is to you, just that their happiness keeps them content? _Why_ is it that that person's happiness always seems to supercede your own? She sighed unhappily. Was she a horrible person for wanting her own happiness? She had given so much; was it bad to want something in return without having to ask for it?  
  
She buried her face in her hands, feeling the warm tears trickle down her slim, delicate fingers. She wanted someone for herself, so much. She wanted her own happiness. She wanted someone to care for her the same way she cared for him. She wanted someone out there to give themselves to her for her happiness, and give themselves unconditionally to her, like she had... for him. And then, that way, that person would never have to worry about his happiness, because then she would give herself to him in the exact same way that he would give himself to her. That was how love was supposed to work, wasn't it? A perfect love anyway.  
  
But in an imperfect world, a perfect love such as that could never exist. No... there would always be someone wanting something more, and there would never be enough trust in these two people that loved each other so dearly, that they could trust their happiness to the other so unconditionally. One will always ask for something more... That could never be a perfect love. In this imperfect world... There was no perfect love. That was why she was here, loving him and receiving nothing in return. Such imperfection was her misery.  
  
She wanted more... Wanted someone to care for her, someone to hold her. Someone to whisper words of comfort when she needed to be comforted. She wanted a friend, a companion. Someone to trust and to confide in. Someone kind and gentle towards her, if not towards all people. She wanted someone to laugh with, someone to share her thoughts with and not be offended by them or laugh at her for them. Someone who wasn't afraid to hold her for absolutely no reason at all. Someone to take her into his arms and keep her there, just for company's sake. To hold her throughout the night when it was cold. To smile when she needed encouragement. To love her... She wanted so much... But had received nothing.  
  
She smiled wryly through her tears, thinking that Hojo could probably give her everything that she requested. Sure, the boy was naïve at times... On second thought, perhaps most of the time. But he was kind, and caring. He would hold her in his arms too. And oh, though he could be naïve, he was so very intelligent. He knew so much about herbs and illnesses--ever since he started liking her, of course--but he was still very smart. Her smile grew. 'He'll be a doctor when he'll get older. And a good one at it too.' Her smile turned into laughter as she thought, 'If he becomes a doctor, he'll be smart _and_ rich.' Although her smile was still there, it a faded a bit as she continued to ponder about Hojo. He would make a good boyfriend, kind and attentive, and he didn't ask for much in return. And she could learn to care for him and enjoy his company. Yes... she could. But although her heart would be there, the feelings would not.  
  
Her feelings would be here. With him.  
  
Tears formed again. Kagome knew he was out there, somewhere. Perhaps grumbling about how much of a wench she was. Perhaps sleeping on a tree limb, waiting for her to come back like she always does--he was beginning to take advantage of her dedication to him, she knew. She sighed. But Kikyo was also out there. The beautiful priestess. Her incarnate of this time. Long, silky black hair that extended to her waist. A long face, filled with dignity and pride--it didn't matter that she had been brought back from the dead, nor did it matter that she was made of earth and bones. The dignity of the priestess was still there. Full-figured; the priestess gown that she wore fitted her curvaceous body perfectly. She wasn't just another female, a girl, or a lady, she was a woman, filled with intelligence and she held her temper well, unlike Kagome.  
  
They were so different. 'Kikyo,' Kagome thought. 'So different from who I am. She's so much better than I am. Gods, how could he possibly see us as the same? Do I even compare?' But ironically, Kagome never thought about 'getting together' with Inu-Yasha. Oh no--if they were together, then that would bring on a whole new mess of problems. No, it wasn't that she didn't want to be his--she blushed at the thought--but it wasn't completely necessary that she was. Again, back to the 'love is crap' idea, she only wanted his happiness. She wasn't devious, she didn't scheme for ways to make him hers. She wanted him to smile, to be happy. To forget his horrible past.  
  
But Kikyo was back. Does she make him happy? Kagome closed her eyes, shutting off her tears, and forced herself to think. Actually, she didn't even have to think. It wasn't hard to notice the way his eyes lit up when he saw Kikyo. It was so obvious. What else could it be that it so happens that whenever Kikyo was around, his whole world disappears, and she along with it? Of course, obviously, Inu-Yasha was in love with Kikyo. He always has been. He didn't need to tell her that he was in love. No, it was all in the look, in his eyes when he saw her, saw her and only her. Ironically enough, it wasn't hard for Kagome to accept that. She already knew that it would be hard on her. That her heart would be broken for his happiness. After all, that was imperfect love at its best.  
  
She got up, dried her tears and began to walk back to camp. She would make up with Inu-Yasha, smile cheerfully for him, and act as if he didn't matter. Imperfect love at its best. 

~

There she was. Inu-Yasha swallowed, reaching for air. Time and everything belonging to it froze, leaving him in his thoughts, half-way scared and unsure. He had tried to keep his composure, but he had been startled. Kikyo was back. She stood in front of him, standing still and dignified, standing near the tree she pinned him to for nearly fifty years. 'Kikyo,' he thought breathlessly. 'Why are you here?' he asked. 'What do you want?'  
  
She looked at him, not blinking. She still looked the same, still lovely and beautiful and graceful. She walked to him and tilted her neck up to look at him in the face. "Inu-Yasha," she said, her voice light and airy like a living melody. "I'm alive."  
  
He blinked, staring back at her. He was at a loss for words. He remembered numbly as she touched his cheek, pulling him down towards her. He remembered her lips brushing against his. But most of all, he remembered the strong scent that assaulted him, a scent of earth and bones. He saw Kikyo, saw the woman that he remembered. But he could not smell the soft, flowery scent that was her. He did not remember this person that embraced him so warmly. Earth and bones... but only earth and bones.  
  
Then, he smelled another scent. He inhaled and breathed in her scent. The smell of cleanliness, cherry blossoms. The scent that gave him a sense of security and home... and love. He inhaled again, filling his nose with that scent, and kissed the lips that touched his deeply and lovingly, filled with all the passion that he had for this one scent. Numbly, he heard the choked sob that he would never forget.  


~

The sob caught in her throat, but still, a strangled noise emerged from her lips. For a moment, she could only look, entranced. She saw the way he held her, the way that she had always wanted to be held. She could not close her eyes; she wanted to, gods, she wanted to so badly just to close her eyes and block out the scene that unfolded in front of her. Instead, she felt herself swallowing, trying to draw moisture into her dry mouth. It felt like she tried to search herself, tried to delve into her mind for the knowledge it took to run away from this place, or to turn around, or even just to do a simple thing as to close her eyes. But she could not. Or would not. Perhaps a part of her was forcing her to see this so that she might remember him for being that person that loved another, the person that did not love her. And in this way, she would stop loving him. She searched her heart for the affirmation of this thought, but she felt nothing but despair. She felt lost. With that small bit of information about her stubborn heart, slowly, she turned and left.  
  
Still, as she finally left the site, her eyes would not close. She felt so lost, so alone... yet her eyes would not shed any tears. It was so ironic that when she thought about something that could happen, anything that her imagination could think up of that could possibly happen between Inu-Yasha and Kikyo, she would cry; but when something actually does happen between the two, she couldn't. Strange. She was lost, having stumbled upon something that she did not want to see, but she did not deny it either. 'It happened,' her mind whispered to her, as if the words were consoling. '... So what?'  


~

Something finally clicked in his mind, and he released her from his embrace. He forced his eyes to open and grabbed the woman in front of him by the shoulders. He waited until her eyes opened and then he gazed into them, staring, looking for the familiar eyes that comforted him when she smiled. The woman in front of him did not smile, only stared back into his eyes.  
  
"... I have to find her," he choked out, not remotely caring whether or not this woman in front of him understood what he had just said. He walked away from her then, slightly stumbling over his own feet. Then, without thinking, he took to the skies, looking for what was his.  
  
He tried to remember what just happened. Everything was blurred, and he couldn't make it out. 'What happened?' his mind screamed, accusing him. Why did he feel so lost and so out of place? What had happened that made him react the way he did to Kikyo? All he knew was that Kagome was there, and she had seen them. He also knew that what just happened back then wasn't supposed to happen and that it never should have happened.  
  
He looked down and saw her, perhaps by chance. He had taken to the sky blindly, in hopes that he would find her before she left him. 'Leave me?' he asked himself numbly. 'Would she do that? And abandon me?' Spotting her below him, half hidden in the midst of gigantic trees, he glided to the ground and dropped in front of her path, crouching halfway to regain his balance. Standing up straight, he examined her.  
  
Her eyes were out of focus, but as they stared at him, her eyes seemed to him to be accusing him. He wanted to turn away so that she wouldn't see the shame in his eyes. But he couldn't trust himself to let her out of his sight. Who knows what he would do if she... He forced the thought out of his mind and attempted to speak to her. "Kagome," he whispered tentatively, wanting to reach out and do something to make her understand that he had never meant to hurt her--that he never meant to send her lost in an oblivion that he had been in before.  
  
Her eyes snapped back into focus. A small smile showed on her face as she answered him with his name.  
  
"Kagome," he persisted, taking a step forward and reaching out to her. What was wrong with her? Was she in shock? He flinched when she backed away from him mechanically. "Please Kagome," he begged. "Listen to me."  
  
"I'm okay," she whispered, the half smile still shining on her face. A part of him twisted up in anguish as he saw through the lie. "I just need... a little time."  
  
He stepped towards her and grabbed her arm before she could move away. "Please, listen..."  
  
"But Inu- "  
  
"I know," he answered in hushed tones, soothing and gentle, but his mind was frantic with worry and it seemed as if chaos had taken over his mind as he was startled that he had scared her. She was scared of _him_. His heart twisted in despair and he quickly changed his thoughts and words into something else. "I... I just need you to promise me you'll come back." He had wanted so much to say something else, to assure her that he hadn't kissed Kikyo purposefully, that it was her that he?  
  
She smiled for him again, her eyes beaming this time. "Of course."  
  
His heart broke then, for some reason. What had just happened here? Why was she acting like this? Did she not care for him at all, that she would just let someone else come here and kiss him, and not care? "We'll talk when you'll come back," he said, insistent on making sure that she'll be here, making sure that he would be able to have a second chance. She nodded and continued to walk away from him.  
  
His hopes fell as he watched her receding form. Indeed, she was leaving him; abandoning him, as he so put it, right in the middle of his despair. He wanted to scream, to shout at her insults to make her come back so that she could yell back at him, if only to see her face. But how on earth could he do that to her now of all times? Especially since this was his fault? Gently cradling his head in his hands, he scolded himself for being so reckless; he was angry and upset at himself and wanted so much to vent his anger on something, anything.  
  
'I should have made her stay,' he thought, 'should've kept her here to explain.' To explain everything, to reveal everything in his heart. He should not have waited this long to tell her. Waited until something like this could destroy what little of a relationship that they had. He wanted so much to be able to do such things that he dreamed of, like holding her, cradling her in his arms and whispering words of love in her ear; making her smile with just a touch, or kissing her in a warm embrace. He could have been doing this now, if it weren't for his blasted cowardliness.  
  
Instead of all of that, he could only wait now.  


~

Yards away from the well, Kagome fell, tripped over a pebble, or her feet, or branches... who knew? she didn't care. But she fell, stumbling to the ground. She couldn't feel the physical pain, her mind was still burning from the emotional pain. There was a round rock in front of her and she reached towards it, pulling herself to it. She wrapped her arm on it, curling the arm to rest her head against. Then tears dropped onto the warm, dry rock. A tear slid from her eye to her lips. She marveled shortly on how tears of joy tasted sweet, but tears of sorrow, such as from a hopeless love, tasted bitter.  
  
She had just been here for a moment, but then she was suddenly aware of a presence in front of her, blocking her way to the well. She did not have to look to know that it was a demon. She didn't even have to look to know that it wasn't Inu-Yasha. She only felt the pain burning in her, engulfing her entire being, wrecking her body with a fire full of aching loneliness.  
  
The demon stared at her, lifting an eyebrow in wonder. She was aware that he was here, he knew that. He knew that she had the ability to sense supernatural things, such as the presence of demons, or of Shikon shards. But the girl did not flinch, did not move from the rock to shield herself from danger. Had it not been for the way her body shivered in the sunlight, or how his inhuman hearing could hear her heavy breathing, he would have thought that she was sleeping. But no, she was awake and aware of his presence.  
  
"Get up, wench," he commanded, his voice not tense, nor angry. In fact, his voice wasn't raised a bit louder than any normal speaking voice. Perhaps if she hadn't been ignoring him, or hadn't been so lost in herself; perhaps if she had squirmed out of his way as he passed, he would have ignored her and left her alone. After all, she had very few uses to him. But since she had chosen to deliberately ignore him tempted his repute; this girl had not even stood up to snarl insults as she would have had if Inu-Yasha had been with her.  
  
"Shut up and go away," came the reply through gritted teeth.  
  
He marveled at this girl. He almost wanted to laugh. Was she so upset that she wasn't afraid for her well-being? He watched, almost intrigued, as her body would take in a deep breath of air, then it would stop moving. After a moment, it would then be wracked with shivers. She was crying, he knew. But it wasn't like the wailing that he heard so often from the village women when he was there to kill them for merely living. No, it was different; it was silent, and desolate, full of despair. Lacking hope. Half intrigued, he noticed the rock she was crying on was big enough for the both of them, and so, gathering his tail in one arm, he sat down, sitting beside her head.  
  
He waited for a moment, wondering if the girl would move then, him being so close to her body. But she continued to inhale slowly... continued to ignore him. Inside, an unfamiliar burn rose in his chest, a feeling that he had not felt in years. Rage. It was the very slow beginning of rage. First it started out small in impatience. He wanted her to notice him. To realize that he was no ordinary demon. Impatience turned into irritation. Why would she not acknowledge him? He was not stupid. She had powers, he was sure of it. There was also the presence of a couple of Shikon shards on her body... But for some odd reason, they were trivial compared to this girl's blatant ignorance.  
  
He gritted his teeth slowly, unable to see into this girl's train of thought. Her head was filled with all kinds of emotions, rage and anger being the most predominant but there was nothing specific that told him about why she was here or why she was ignoring him. But as he tried to search her thoughts, a feeling inside her mind and heart welled to the top, overwhelming his senses. The feeling that overtook him was something that he had not fairly experienced before, but he recognized it as a pain of loss. The powerful pull of this emotion drew him towards her and as he gritted his teeth in frustration, as he tried to get out of her thoughts, he found himself slowly raising his had over her head, as if to touch her.  
  
Almost immediately, after he recognized his hand's intent, he took a hold of his emotions and calmed himself, forcing her mind away from his, a bit brutally. Silently, he inhaled the clean air and made peace with himself. As he looked down at his raised hand, he saw her at that very moment shiver in the sunlight and a thought struck him about how terrible she must feel if she had to endure this emotion as a human when he himself could barely get him away from the sensation though he was a demon. Another feeling bombarded his senses: compassion. Slowly, the raised hand descended onto the top of her head, touching her hair lightly. His whole body tensed as her body tensed and relaxed when she relaxed. He allowed his hand to rest on her head then, still on guard, but much more relaxed than he had been before.  
  
Her hair felt exquisitely soft underneath his fingertips. Out of curiosity, he started to slowly run a couple of his fingers through her hair, taking delight in the way it felt as the silky black strands separated and entwined with his fingers. She raised her head then, a bit startled. He watched her as the dawning of realization of who he was came upon her face. That was moment was brief and then she didn't care anymore. He had hoped for her to be afraid, like she had been before at their first encounter. He realized with much amusement that she was at the point of pain that she didn't fear anything anymore.  
  
He didn't even have a reason for being here. He hadn't counted on her being here, and he didn't have any uses for her. He could use her to get the tetsusaiga, of course, but then that would be rather cowardly of him. He didn't need anyone, much less this inferior human girl, to help him get the sword. Instinctively, before she could bury her head back in her arms he dropped his tail, grabbed her chin lightly and forced her to look back at him. Her face was tear-stained, her eyes red. She refused to meet his eyes however, disabling from searching further into her soul. However, her eyes weren't so different from those pairs of eyes that he was familiar with; eyes belonging to beings who were just about to die, usually from his hands. There was absolutely no hope in her eyes, no emotion other than pain. That he was familiar with. He watched, intrigued, as she, with delicate fingers, wiped tears away from her right eye. His hand that had been on her head, moved to her face to wipe her tears from her other eye. She blinked surprised. She snapped her head away from his grasp; He was not surprised that she had done so, his hold on her had been light.  
  
"Please go away, Sessho-maru."  
  
He was astounded that she would be polite to him, especially now, while she was so vulnerable. "There is nothing I can do?" he asked. The words shocked him. Had he gone crazy? so crazy that he would assist another being, a human-being even?  
  
She laughed then, turning away from him. Her laughter was hollow and utterly devoid of hope. "Unless you can mend a broken heart, Sessho-maru-sama," she answered, his name spoken with feigned respect. "There is nothing." Tears fell readily from her eyes again. She knew she was at a complete loss. She was pushing him, she knew. He was a cold-hearted killer, capable of killing millions without batting those pretty lashes of his. But she didn't care. Perhaps she had hoped that he would kill her. After all, death is so much easier to handle than pain. Especially the pain of heartache, betrayal, loss... She had given so much, for nothing. And she was lost and so very alone. She brought a hand to her mouth as her voice choked and hot tears fell from her eyes. So much pain.  
  
He surprised her, and him, as he pulled her towards him, pulled her onto the rock and into his lap with much ease; gently, he buried her face against his chest. It had been a reflex, but he had never done this before. She didn't protest though; instead, she wove her fingers tightly into his clothing. He was comforted that she didn't try to get away from him, although he did not know why. This was so strange to him, so very new. He was puzzled into a thoughtful state. Still, he wrapped his beautiful tail protectively around her and held on tightly to her as she cried quietly.  


~

Inu-Yasha trudged back slowly; he too was at a lost. He forced himself to think clearly, to replay the actions in his mind, even though he didn't want to. He shuddered, thinking of the emotions that Kagome could have gone through had he been her in place. He stopped, standing still in the middle of nowhere and corrected himself. 'Perhaps she didn't feel anything at all,' he told himself, not giving him the chance for false hope. He wanted to think that she felt something, that she was hurt--it wasn't that he wished to hurt her, no, not at all. But he wanted her to feel something for him. Something that was other than pure hatred and loathing. 'But say that she is hurt,' he insisted, knowing that he was setting himself up for possible heartbreak. 'That you hurt her because -you- kissed Kikyo... How will you make this up to her?'  
  
He knew what it felt like to be jealous. To loathe someone because they had done something to her that he could never do though he wanted to. He remembered how he loathed Miroku at the beginning. He detested the monk for forcing...He sighed, no 'allowing', he corrected himself, 'allowing' Kagome to admire the monk for his debonair qualities of a gentleman. He remembered the first time that Miroku had touched Kagome, feigning to be unconscious while touching her in 'that' way. His eyes blazed with anger, still furious that the 'humble' monk had done so upon one of their first meetings. Inu-Yasha was infuriated that Miroku dared to touch her in 'that' way when he couldn't bring himself to touch her face... although he badly wanted to.  
  
He swallowed, trying to force himself to calm down from his short temper. Sometimes his want to touch her was so unbearable. She was there, she was always there, just right in front of him. The way she smiled, the way she looked at him; sometimes it drove him to the brink of insanity to watch her run her fingers through her hair absentmindedly and not be able to run his own fingers through her lovely black hair. Perhaps he was just being cowardly for not being able to reach out and just touch her for once. To show her that he did care about her, more than she could ever possibly imagine. To feel her skin underneath his fingertips, or to press her body tightly against his own. He crumpled to his feet, helpless. The yearning in his body was growing restless. He wanted so much but he couldn't bring himself to do it.  
  
That was why, he realized. 'That's what happened.' He had needed her so much, needed so much to make up with her for being upset, for upsetting her. When he saw Kikyo, he was surprised and was even more surprised when the usually quiet priestess brought her lips up to his, and kissed him gently. When Kagome's scent came to him, he was lost beyond all reason and his allowed himself to be entranced by her scent. Nothing had been real anymore and he allowed himself to be completely absorbed by her, allowed himself to give into his desires and kiss her... only, he didn't kiss Kagome. He had kissed Kikyo.  
  
He buried his face in his hands, his hopes lost. 'How?' he thought miserably. '-How- did I allow myself to do such a thing?' They were -not- the same. They could never -be- the same. Yes, they looked the same. But that was it. He loved her, he knew. Cared for her with all of his being. But he had never been able to tell her like he should have been able to.  
  
She was so indescribably different from Kikyo. Obviously, there were some traits that just shone differently from Kikyo. While Kikyo was humble and demure, Kagome was outspoken and wasn't afraid to stand up for herself. Yes, Kikyo had been very good with archery, and while Kagome at times sucked, she had her own strength. Their intelligence differed from one another. Their smile, their eyes. So different... so how had he been able to lose himself in Kikyo, in the way that he wanted to lose himself in Kagome? No... not how, by why?  
  
Ah... Because, if he had dared to try to lose himself in her, there was the very likely possibility that she would refuse him that privilege. Rejected and scorned forevermore, to lose his freedom to be near her... He didn't dare try to touch her in this why, because she might adamantly refuse him, like she always did at his accidental peekings of her bathing. Like she did that afternoon when he tried to tell her, he thought scornfully. She would no longer want to be around him... and he would lose the honor of just being able to see her and that alone would be his death. He would no longer be living if he didn't have her to be his source of life.  
  
The aching and longing in his heart grew as he thought of how she should be home now. Home with her family, with people who cared for her. He had no one, but her. She was his home. His life. His everything. And she might leave him now. 'When she comes back... I'll hold her. And touch her.' He closed his eyes, thinking of how her warm flesh would feel against his skin. 'But she'll despise me,' he thought objecting, the enticing thoughts dissipating in less than the blink of his eye. 'She'll despise me for touching her in such a way, especially after I touched Kikyo like that...' He despaired. What was he to do?  
  
She stood a distance away from him, half hidden behind a tree. He looked so lost and lonely, sitting in the middle of the green grove. The sun was slowly making its descent, radiating his form. Her heart fell, along with her hopes for her past love. Here he was, looking as lovely as ever even in his quiet desolation; and he was mourning after he kissed her.  
  
Gingerly, Kikyo lifted a hand to her mouth, her fingertips barely grazing her lower lip. Even the softest touch could not compare to the way his lips felt against hers... And then that passion that came afterwards. Such passion that she had never experienced before, passion that he had never given to her before. She sighed wistfully, knowing the truth.  
  
Slowly, cautiously, she walked up behind him, and then placed a hand on his shoulder. He did not flinch. Perhaps he didn't care that she had touched him. Or maybe he didn't recognize her touch or presence. She licked her lips and swallowed, trying to loosen her tongue. Then she spoke, saying, "That kiss, was not meant for me, ne, Inu-Yasha?" her voice, so very ladylike, did not have to be carried on the wind to reach his ears his ears. He had heard, despite how soft she had spoken.  
  
His shoulders sagged underneath her hand as he regretfully sighed. "No, Kikyo," he answered, remorsefully. "It wasn't. I'm... sorry, Kikyo. I'm so very sorry." He pressed his palms tightly against his eyes, willing himself to feel the pain that was buried inside his body. The ache and loneliness seemed to engulf him now.  
  
Kikyo's heart fell, even farther than it had earlier. Although she had already known, it hurt to hear him admit it. "I didn't think so," she told him softly, wistfully. She should be upset. Should be angry. She should take his soul away from him, just as he ripped out her heart so brutally now and laid it at her feet. But she could not bring herself to do that as he sat at her feet, feeling the same sort of despair she was feeling now, even though for another person.  
  
He dropped his hands, and his shoulders seemed to sag even more. His eyes were empty as he stared into oblivion. "What do you mean?" he asked, unemotionally, although he did wonder what the former priestess was getting at.  
  
"You've never kissed me like that before. Even though I do wish you had," she told him wistfully, with a half-smile on her face.  
  
Inu-Yasha blinked, surprised at her remark. He almost wanted to laugh, to think that the quiet priestess that he once knew dreamed of being kissed with a passion. He always thought of her as quite different from that; always quiet, always demure, even while fighting off demons and monsters in the heat of battle. She never showed such a want for passion before.  
  
"Was it for her, then?" she asked candidly. She didn't want to ask, seeing how she already knew the answer. But she asked anyway, almost wanting to hear it from himself. Almost, but not quite.  
  
She was answered by his silence.  
  
"I see." Although it wasn't quite the answer that she expected, though it wasn't in the form that she had asked for, she still got her answer. But she wished she hadn't received it.  
  
Standing in the looming sunset, she could hear the wind rustle in the trees. She also heard birds chirping their goodnights to their neighbors and animals hustling about to get back to their homes. Had it not been for all the commotion going on, she could have sworn by her grave... what was left of it anyway, that she could hear Inu-Yasha crying. She, herself, was trying her best not to let tears fall from her own eyes. After all, it wasn't very ladylike to cry in public. One should always wait until no one could see, and then cry her heart out.  
  
She knew that she should leave. She didn't know where to; after all, where was she welcomed? She was practically a demoness now, not the priestess that protected all humankind from demons and ogres and oni. She would have to kill herself to re-obtain that reputation. She had just been given the chance to live again, she was not about to take it away herself. Though she had planned to live with Inu-Yasha or take him to the grave with her, she knew in her heart that that was not going to happen. And with knowing that, she shouldn't be here, hurting herself more than need be. But he was in the same sort of despair. She could not leave him like this, alone like she was for such a long time.  
  
She still remembered the little demon pup who did not know how to survive on his own, lost from his mother who was taken from this world, scorned and hated by his half-brother... he was most definitely alone, like she had been and was, and had no one to depend on. And he had met her. Fallen for her. Loved her. She did not turn him away, but instead relied on him. Now, she would not turn him away. Instead, she'd let him rely on her.  
  
When she could not find anything else to say to him, they shared each other's company in silence until nightfall, both hearts broken and in need of mending.  


~

Sessho-maru, since long ago, had shut his eyes while he listening to Kagome's steady and hypnotizing breathing. He took in everything he could, engraving this moment in his mind. He had never before held another person in this way before. He had been with many, of course, but never in this way. Why he had chosen this moment with this particular being? he could not understand, and it startled him when he thought about how comfortable he was as he held her like this.  
  
He took delight in the way her chest rose against his with every breath she took and the way her warm breath tingled across his chest. His hands had long settled in her silky hair; her hair smelled like spring rain. She was an interesting creature... but he did not know why. Holding her in his arms was so natural that it made him feel confused. Why now? of all times, and of all people, did he start to take an interest in this person? What had possessed him to ask her if there was anything he could do to ease her pain?  
  
He was a demon, a full-blooded demon. He should not care for such trivial things. He should have killed her on sight, just to spite his whelp of a half-brother. Instead, here he was, sitting on a mere rock (while he could have been lounging on an emperor's chair at his domain) cradling a girl in his lap (while he could have had any full-grown mistress demon in his lap right now) stroking her hair (...) and actually enjoying her presence. Gods, everything was wrong with this picture.  
  
He should just kill her.  
  
Now -that- would make the picture seem right. He could stand her up, play with her a little, show her his sympathy and compassion, and then rip out her heart. His all-too familiar sadistic grin started to show on his face. After all, what was the best cure for a broken heart than having no heart at all?  
  
Her head stirred beneath his hand drawing his attention from his bloody fantasy. The girl rubbed her head against his warm clothing, gave out a small, contented, feminine sigh and rested her cheek on his chest. His previous gory fantasy dissipated as he watched her peaceful face while she slept.  
  
The girl, after crying herself silly, had fallen asleep a while ago. It didn't matter to her that she was using him as a pillow and a bed. She had simply fallen asleep. And he hadn't cared. In fact, he hadn't even thought of it until now, after she stirred his thoughts.  
  
He moved his hand from her hair, taking a moment to gently run his fingers through her hair, straightening it from the mess he had made of it, and then brushed his fingertips gently across her cheek. Her face was warm to the touch, but no longer wet from the tears she had shed.  
  
"Damn girl," he told her sternly, his voice soft and sultry at the same time. "Why is my patience so drawn out?" Indeed, Sessho-maru had always had a lot of patience, but not ever towards humans. No, he never needed patience when dealing with humans. A wave of his hand and Jaken would finish them off for him. Or he could finish them off himself. But dealing with humans had always been so dirty, so disgustingly unsanitary. They themselves were dirty; they smelled foul and their faces were utterly revolting to look at. Of course, there was the momentary pleasantry of their horrified screams as they looked death in the eye... but that was about it. But this one... This one was clean. She smelled clean, her body did not give off any of the normal human odor that he was familiar with. Instead, her body scent was pleasant, appealing... enticing almost. Her hair, the gentle texture of her hair was soft and smooth, as sleek as the finest piece of silk he had ever touched--almost as soft as his own tail. And the way it smelled so clean, not like any other of the village woman whose hair almost always had a touch of oiliness to them.  
  
She was different. Her clothes were clean... Although not very tasteful. He looked her over, wondering that if she wanted to reveal her body, why didn't she choose something more extravagant, something that belonged on her body? Sure, the garment she wore did expose her fine legs but still... He imagined her in the fine silk gown that one of the villages had bestowed to him as an offering to keep him from killing... Well, no matter about the fine details. But he could picture her in the dress, the silk clinging to her body, her hair half-up in a pin... She would look beautiful.  
  
As he imagined her in his mind, she began slowly but surely to awaken. At first, she was about to fall asleep again, but there was something that was pestering her nose, making it itch in the most uncomfortable way. She raised a finger and rubbed her nose, trying to relieve the itch. Opening her eyes, she took the time to attempt to identify her surroundings. Everything was hazy and it took a moment for everything to come back to her, but she finally realized that she was sitting on top of Sessho-maru. She looked up cautiously, careful not to set off any emotions in her face. The very last thing that she needed was for him to take delight in her fear.  
  
Sessho-maru, on the other hand, watched bemused as she lifted her dainty little finger and rubbed the tip of her nose. He observed her facial expressions as she recounted the events of her day and noticed immediately as realization dawned on her about where she was. Not even so much as batting an eyelash, he looked at her as she lifted her face to look into his face. There was nothing in her facial expression that betrayed any emotion. But he wasn't interested in her facial expressions. Instead, he gazed deeply into her eyes, looking for something, though he did not know what he was looking for.  
  
He was tempted to search her mind, using his inherited demon powers. He wondered what he would feel if he were to forcefully enter her mind, taking in her memories, her thoughts and passions without her consent. He pondered a bit, thinking if he would enjoy her screams as she was being mentally raped.  
  
He could have, he knew, but for some odd reason, he didn't. He kept her secrets her own, although he could have made them his. Instead, he moved his right hand to her neck, rubbing gently, almost massaging her as he tested how strong, or in her case, how weak her skin was against his touch. Finding the point, he applied a pressure point that set her to sleep. Almost immediately, the girl fell asleep again, slouching in his arms. He felt no emotion as he did so, but noted to himself how tender he was in dealing with her. He noted that it was not a good thing. Regarded it was a sign of weakness.  
  
Setting her gently down against the rock, Sessho-maru stood up, his body muscle tense from the long sitting, but he didn't not acknowledge the terse discomfort. Then, in less than a minute, he took on his natural form, transforming from a beautifully handsome, somewhat of a human, to a huge vicious dog-demon. His animal side wanted him to roar, to tell every living species in the vicinity that the Great Sessho-maru was nearby. Instead, he kept his fangs shut as his tail maneuvered with such dexterity to scoop up the sleeping girl. Wrapping her up in his tail, he made sure that she was comfortable, and then lifted his tail daintily in the air, keeping her from any discomfort as he traveled. Then he left this miserable place for his domain.  
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Note: Special thanks goes to Rymsie for always being there to review my works. I hope you know how much help and hope you've given to me and this peice of FanFiction. When no one else wanted to review my stuff, you were there, always giving me kind suggestions and quite a bit of insight. Thanks _so_ much for being there. And remember to keep writing! I'll always be there, looking for the next chapter in your sagas. God Bless.  
  
Comments? Suggestions? Write to me: [Princess_Faux@hotmail.com][1] or visit my webpage: [http://www.geocities.com/Princess_Faux][2].  


   [1]: mailto:Princess_Faux@hotmail.com
   [2]: http://www.geocities.com/Princess_Faux



	2. Part II

[ The Difference :|: Princess Faux ]

Disclaimer: "Inu-Yasha" is the property of Takahashi Rumiko. The story and the characters do not belong to me; I'm merely borrowing them for the amusement of other Inu-Yasha fans out there. Seeing how I just said that, don't you dare come near me with a lawsuit.  
  
Dedicated to Rymsie: Thank you for being my source of encouragement throughout these past few months/weeks that I've been writing to you. You truly are my online mentor and if I write well, it's because I know that you're there encouraging me write well. I'm continually waiting for the day that you'll come back and awe me with your breath-taking stories so try your best to write =) No forced-writing of course! Just... 'happy' writing ^-^ Unless you're writing an angst then it would be 'happy-sad' writing unless... Let's just stop the rambling there. =) Enjoy Rymsie! This is for you!  
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"The Difference"  
Part II  
Princess Faux  
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A cool breeze brushed against his body yet the chill didn't affect him at all. Instead, he kept his steady trot out of the forest as he made his way towards a nearby open field. With each step that he took, his paws against the cold earth did not make a single noise but rather matched the silence of the forest. It was rather odd, if one took the time to think about it, how this forest was usually filled with sounds from various creatures of the night but how tonight not a single creature stirred from its hiding place.  
  
Perhaps, then, that tonight was different from any other night. Well, that was unlikely--after all, what would be so special about one night that it would cause a whole forest to be silent as it was tonight? Then perhaps it was not the night that silenced the forest, but instead a presence in the forest. Indeed, the presence of a mighty and fearsome creature, such as the great dog-demon that was making his way out of the forest, could be the cause of this silence.  
  
Mighty and fearsome--these two words described the demon perfectly. A demon with the features of any ordinary canine yet different because of his own distinct demeanor. One major difference was the size; Sesshou-Maru was considerably fifty, if not a hundred times larger than the normal hound. But, nevertheless, he still had many similar qualities of a dog. He had a sleek, well-defined body that was covered in a long, white fur, fur that felt as if it had been made of silk itself. All four of his legs were long, strong and steady, carrying his body well but also giving him the ability to run incredibly fast. His nose was also long and he held his head up quite lordly. Though he looked like a dog, this was his true form as a demon, and he bore it proudly.  
  
The silence in the forest was deafening but he was accustomed to it. In a way, he also demanded it, knowing that he was magnificent and that all others--may they be beast, mortal, or immortal--should recognize that as well. He was a being to be awed at for his awesome and breathtaking beauty, but he was also to be feared. At this moment, ignoring his large size, he looked harmless enough. The silken fur shimmered in the beams of the moonlight as they shone on his magnificent body, highlighting his best features--which was all of him. He looked innocent, lovable--teasingly cuddly. But this innocence was feigned and his true terrible self shone brightly in his red demon eyes.  
  
Demon eyes were the most awesome and most terrible things to possibly gaze into. It was like looking into death itself and his eyes matched that description perfectly. They demanded blood; they were hungry for it, lusted for it. And he, being a great demon, gave in readily to that lust. This was why all feared him and if they did not fear him, they should. The demon did not anger easily, but he could wait patiently until all that he wanted was his. If he wanted blood, he would take it, giving himself almost any excuse to stain his ivory white claws with the crimson shade of red. He was ruthless in every way, getting what he wanted every time that he wanted. But he was also cunning with the intelligence of a mage, priest, teacher, scholar... He had knowledge of everything. Patience, intelligence and ruthlessness make one very formidable and dangerous demon.  
  
Escaping the confines of the forest, he entered into a large pasture, lush and vibrant in the spring. He took a brief moment and looked at the sky, almost awing its magnificent beauty that matched his own. After giving his homage to the night, his forepaws pressed tightly against the dewy grass, the front of his body pressed low to the earth, and then, in one swift moment, he was in the air, soaring against the wind, going home to his domain.  
  
The trip was short from that particular pasture and was made even shorter with his ability to travel by air. Soon, he descended from the sky, leaving the cloak of night for a huge, imposing castle that loomed in front of him. The fortress stood before him almost completely hidden in the night, dark and lonely. If he had not been a demon and had his eyesight not been as superior as it is, he could have overlooked it. Large mountains overshadowed the fortification while below, sharp and deadly rocks arose from the ground. It was a beautiful palace, and even though he had a great, massive protection force for his home, there was no need for it because the awesome and terrifying beauty of nature herself protected the palace.  
  
In front of him extended a large balcony, large enough for the dog demon in his true form as he is now, to stand in the middle of and still have plenty of room. He descended slowly onto the balcony, wary of the precious bundle that he had carefully hidden in the comfort of his beautiful tail. When he was comfortable with his destination, he effortlessly wrapped his tail about his body as he changed from the terrifyingly beautiful dog-being into a mere human being. Wrapped in his much-considerably smaller white tail was a sleeping human girl.  
  
He held out his muscular arms, his tail hovering above them. Then his tail slowly released her and she dropped lightly into his arms. He took the moment to gaze at her sleeping face. 'She seems to be at peace,' he mused lightly, wondering if she was dreaming. Naturally, she shivered in the cold night air, quickly snapping him out of his thoughts. Effortlessly, he carried her inside.  
  
Once inside the room, his demon soldiers, minions that were made loyal to him, pulled a huge heavy drape from one side of the opening to the balcony to the other, doing it quickly and quietly. Two other wraiths quickly made a fire in the fireplace, filling the room with warmth. The master of the home did not seem to acknowledge any of them. Instead, Sesshou-Maru continued to walk into the room and found two women bowing, their bodies pressed low to the ground. Sesshou-Maru did not look surprised, as if he had known they were there all along, even though he did not know these two mortal women in particular. He looked them over once and then commanded stiffly as he continued walking across the vast room, "Come." Two other demons on either side of the luxurious doors pulled on each handle, opening the doors for their master to pass through. The women hurried behind him, not too close but not too far away either.  
  
He could feel them in the back of his mind. He knew that their bodies were trembling; he could hear the unsteadiness in their breathing as well as smell the fear in them. Though they were not too horribly looking, they did not compare to many, many of the demonesses that he knew, or consorted with, nor did they compare to the one in his arms. Their fear was pleasing and their presence was irritating; he felt both emotions simultaneously. They would not be of any use to him if they were so scared that they could not do their job well and effectively, he knew.  
  
In the back of his mind, without so much as a moment's thought, he beckoned Jaken to come, purely by will alone. Then as he walked out of the main room, he almost stopped at the next room next to his. After half-a-second's hesitation, he decided against it and walked through several hallways until he reached a room at the far end of one hallway. Demons quickly appeared, seemingly from nowhere, and opened the two large oak doors with ease. On the other side, Jaken was already waiting for him, humbly standing off to the side, bowing his head in respect. Without glancing in Jaken's direction, the demon lord passed through.  
  
Sesshou-Maru made his way across the room, this room much smaller than the previous one. In the middle of the room, pressed against one wall, was an extravagant bed, the sheets a lovely ivory color with matching colored pillows. The women behind him let out a lovingly sigh in admiration as they saw the room. Sesshou-Maru was tempted to kill them for being so... bothersome. 'Human women,' he thought with disgust as his jaw tightened. 'Are they all as irritating?'  
  
He approached the bed and entrusted this precious burden to it, sitting on its edge and placing her in the middle of the large mattress. He had an urge to reach out and touch her face, peaceful as it was in slumber, or to run his fingers through her velvety soft hair again, to relish the feeling that he had as her hair became tangled with his fingers like it had that afternoon. With a stern admonition, his heart hardened against the girl, smothering the detestable desires that she unknowingly gave him.  
  
Promptly, he got up from the bed and gave cursory nod at Jaken who immediately began to tell the women detailed instructions on how to handle the girl in short, curt sentences. Sesshou-Maru didn't even bother to stay to hear the rest of the message. He already knew that Jaken would carry out his orders: to tell the women to take care of the girl, to bathe her, dress her, yet in the meanwhile, keep her asleep.  
  
After he had left the room, his demon soldiers were already closing the door quietly behind him. He ignored those demons too. Then there was no one in the hallways but for him. Subconsciously, he walked through the empty and silent hallways back to his own room. Clearing his mind, he reached out mentally to his castle, listening through the walls. He concentrated on Jaken, and as he did so, one corner of his mouth lifted slightly as he could hear Jaken literally hiss a threat at the women. 'He will kill you,' he heard Jaken speak. 'It's just the matter of when.'  
  
The malicious smirk widened as he thought of how he had been neglecting Jaken these days. Jaken almost had nothing to do, since Sesshou-Maru had no need to look for his father's sword, seeing how he already knew where it was. A frown slowly made its way onto Sesshou-Maru's face. Yes... Jaken had been very restless these past few days. A demon with nothing to do... but still has a thirst for blood. The frown deepened. His concern was not for the toad, of course, but for the defenseless girl sleeping in one of his beds. His concern dissipated immediately, one for out of scorn for his newly attained protectiveness over the girl and another for the comfort of knowing that he would just kill Jaken if he even so much as touched Kagome.  
  
His personal bedchambers was now quite warm instead of the chill he had experienced when he first arrived at his domain, since the fire had been alive for a while now. He did not need to look around to know that the demons that had been in here earlier were not in here now.  
  
It had ceased to amaze him many, many years ago, about how quiet and undemanding these creatures were. It had been so long ago... he was only a little pup then. And his father had told him how he had come about training them, the wraiths that worked as the palace guards now. Before, they had been ruthless creatures, unthinking, unknowledgeable, yet huge in number. His father, the great demon of the western lands, killed many of them, and brought two of them home. Sesshou-Maru remembered how fascinated he had been as his father retold him of how he accomplished this task. His father had delved into their minds, taking away every bit of emotion that they had, brain-washing them, so to speak. It had taken a period of time to perfect, merely a year or two, since many had gone insane and killed themselves in every way imaginable. But then, it began to work. His father captured dozens upon dozens of them, erasing their memories, thoughts and feelings, and made them into mindless drones that obeyed him.  
  
Sesshou-Maru remembered, after the night that his father told him of this mysterious ability to control the mind, Sesshou-Maru honed in on this ability and focused everything he had into perfecting this. It had taken up years of his life, causing him at times to go insane if he had pushed himself too far, and as a result, his father, many, many times, had to reach into his own mind to pull him out of insanity. But, because of this, he had learned patience, and endurance. It strengthened his mind as well as his ability. He became so skilled, that one time he blocked his father from reaching into his mind. After that day, his father never touched his mind again.  
  
He had mastered this technique and had been able to do to the demons what his father had done; but instead of speaking verbally to the mindless monsters, he had only to reach out with his thoughts to command them. And this was all accomplished when he was but a pup.  
  
He let out a sigh of relief as he pulled one article of clothing off his body after another. Soon, he was down to nothing yet his large tail covered him more than needed. He lay on his bed, covering himself with the sheets, though the humid air in the room was warm enough for him. With a thought, the fire in the fireplace was extinguished but he allowed the embers to burn for a while. He then closed his eyes and embraced the void that came with sleep. 

~

Dreams of happiness eluded her. Instead, surrounding her were nightmares, showing the same thing, over and over again, repeating endlessly in her mind, torturing her in her sleep. At times, she couldn't even think, she only felt the pain that her dreams produced. There were times that the pain was so unbearable that she could hardly breathe, her body fighting for air, a fight that she was barely aware of. They were dreams of her fate: to live alone, forever. Destined to never be loved like she desperately wanted to be loved. Kagome knew, in her heart, that she was dreaming of her future.  
  
Her dreams were horrible yet there was an explicitness that she could not ignore. Sitting up painfully in the bed, she kept her eyes closed, replaying the dreams in her mind, forcing herself to believe them, forcing herself to accept reality for what it really was. Forcing her to snap out of the dream that she wanted to live in.  
  
Her dream... no, nightmare, had started out innocently enough. Inu-Yasha had been smiling at her, actually smiling for once. And at her. They had spent the day together, gathering shards with only one incident: a demon, chasing her for the shards she already had. But of course, Inu-Yasha, her protector saved her. He had gathered her in his arms, and told her that he would always protect her. And that he would always love Kikyo. She felt her heart shatter for what seemed like the billionth time that day as she engraved that part of the nightmare into her mind. He would always love Kikyo. Always. Then her dreams continued, dreams of other people loving her: Hojo, Miroku, Kouga, even some mysterious guy that had no face--all she knew about him was that he came from her time like Hojo. They had all loved her in her dream, but ended up shattering her heart, just like he did. By loving another. And, she had woken up with a start by knowing she died unloved and insane.  
  
She had woken up, quite startled, her whole body quivering in fear. She wanted to break down and cry, and in fact, she didn't notice it until now, but she -had- been crying. But she had tried her hardest not to. She had scolded herself for crying, for being so weak especially at a time like this. She had known, she told herself, so why was she dwelling on it now? 'You knew this would happen,' she cried in her head. 'Why? Why are you letting yourself go through this pain? He loves another... You don't belong with him. Forget him, live again.' She tried to console herself, but it just didn't work. It hurt too much.  
  
After what seemed like an hour of crying, her tears had finally stopped. Her mind had stopped thinking by her command. She forced her mind to be clear, free from any thought. But then, she had lifted herself up from the bed, into sitting position. She swallowed as she gripped at the sheets again, just as she had to help herself to sit up in the bed. She opened her eyes, only to be greeted by darkness, no light whatsoever, not even the light that should be filtering through the window in her room. Her breathing slowly began to accelerate as the silk sheets rifted easily from between her fingers. 'Silk... sheets?' her mind asked, slowly beginning to go frantic with worry.  
  
She swallowed, forcing her mind to think, but she could not. Her mind had gone blind with fear; her head craned slowly from one side to the other, trying to look for anything, but still greeted only with the pitch black of the room. She pulled her legs up, feeling the nice, silky texture of the sheets against her legs. As she wrapped her arms around her legs, she realized that the sheets weren't the only thing that had been brushed against her legs, but also the thin silk cloth that she had been wearing. Quickly, she released her legs and wrapped her arms around herself, feeling silk brush up against her arms and hands as she gripped her arms. She was not in her own clothing. Slowly, painfully slowly, her mind began to register these simple facts.  
  
She swallowed again, demanding that moisture come back into her mouth, since it had gone dry when she realized that she was not at home. Her legs were still up, but it was difficult to keep them up because they kept sliding back down to resting position. Fed up, she left her legs the way they were. She was most certain that the silk sheets were probably tangled around her legs. Her sanity came back to her, though at a very slow rate. First, she rubbed her eyes, hoping that it had been her tears that had kept her from distinguishing the features of the room. After she had done so, and made sure that her eyes were perfectly dry from the miserable tears that she had shed, she leaned back and waited until she could see something... see anything that would tell her of where she was.  
  
It came slowly but the outlines began to show. Across the room were the outlines of five--no, six--six heavy curtains, she guessed. Heavy, because they would probably have to have been to keep out every single natural light from coming in. To her right, she saw a very light, or she should say dark, outline of a rather large portrait. When she extended her eyes to her left, she saw the outline of a two large and magnificent doors placed perfectly in the middle of the wall. She grabbed for one of the pillows that she had been lying on, pulling it close to her as she wondered if she should dare to venture past that door. She shuddered, wondering if it was anything like this room; completely dark and void of light.  
  
Reaching for the sheets that were tangled together by her feet, she pulled it tightly against her body, tucking in all the loose ends that might let a draft inside. "Where am I?" she whispered, asking no one in particular. Her own voice scared her as it bounced off the walls, echoing back to her. 'Don't speak out loud... ever again,' she thought, wryly, half-scared out of her wits. She sighed... she didn't know which was worse: staying awake and having to deal with her current fear of absolute darkness, or sleeping, and reliving her whole ordeal with Inu-Yasha up to the time that she had her encounter with... "Sesshou-Maru," Kagome whispered, realization dawning on her. "Sessh... ou..." Her eyes reduced to mere slits as she glared into the darkness. "... Maru!" she finished angrily through gritted teeth.  
  
Finding her courage in her anger, she tossed off the sheets from her body, sending it flying off the right side of the bed. She hefted herself off the left side of the bed, finding it slightly higher off the ground than she had anticipated as she tripped slightly over her own feet. Then, the second shock came as her feet touched the solid ground. It was terribly, mind-numbingly cold. But her hot anger made up for it at the moment as she marched herself towards the two large doors, becoming more evident with each step that they were wooden doors, looking incredibly heavy. Then, frustrating her more than she already was, whatever she was wearing was being very difficult to march with. She lifted the hem, or whatever it was, off the ground, allowing her more space to march with. She finally made her way to the door and pulled hard. The door opened much easier than she expected and she almost hit herself with it!  
  
With a frustrated half-shriek, she stepped outside of the door only to be met by Sesshou-Maru's handpicked servant--or as she liked to call him: Sessho-Maru's 'henchman'--Jaken himself.  
  
"You," he growled, not at all in the least pleased. She gave herself the pleasure of glaring back at him as he finished, "should be in bed, little girl."  
  
"Shut up," she growled through gritted teeth, barely having a hold over her anger, "You toad!" she screamed at him, kicking him through the hallway. She, in turn, inhaled and exhaled readily, feeling a bit better that she was able to vent her anger on something. For the first time, she noticed her new surroundings. It was a huge hallway, quite long, filled with dozens of rooms. Torches hung on either side of each door. Huffing determinedly, she marched to the first door, beginning her search. As she marched to the door, she stopped in front of it, knowing that that room did not have what she was looking for. She shook her head, hesitantly, wondering if she should ignore her instinct and just open it anyway. Kagome swallowed, wondering if she would regret this, but she left the doorway and walked slowly down the hallway.  
  
Reaching the end, she came to a fork, the hallway lead into two different directions, each hallway leading on to more hallways and she could imagine what those hallways lead up to. She closed her eyes, emptying her mind of her unbridled emotions. Then she felt it again, that feeling... that nagging feeling that she recognized now. She snapped her eyes open, wondering incredulously, "Is he -calling- to me?" She hefted up her clothing, her anger growing again, and resumed her march, taking to the right, following her instincts. She picked up her pace, her feet not wanting to feel the cold floor if she didn't have to.  
  
It was like going through a maze, taking a turn that she didn't know where she was going to end up in. All the hallways looked the same, not that she was taking the time to notice anything different, of course. She hurried through the hallways, her breathing becoming heavier with each step. Kami-sama, she was angry. But she kept quiet and listened to her instincts, allowing her anger to grow as quietly as her footsteps had been with each step she took.  
  
Finally, she came through a hallway where there was no other hallways connected to it at the end. Instead, there was a doorway, an entrance that was much more lovely, more extravagant, and more fear inspiring than any other doorway in the entire palace. Without one ounce of fear in her, she marched right up to the door, tugged on it, and needing the extra strength to open it, she pulled it ajar just enough for her to slip in. Inside, everything was pitch black, but she knew, just knew instinctively, that he was in here. Clearing her throat, she declared, quite loudly, "Sesshou-Maru!" though it did come out much more like a yell.  
  
Immediately, lights flared up all over the room, torches filled with fire glowed brightly as well as a huge fireplace to her right, the sudden movement startling her. In front of her was a gigantic sized bed with a beautiful canopy on all sides; the side facing her already had its curtains drawn aside. She didn't move as the figure on the bed slowly stirred, getting up from his resting position to a sitting position. Kagome almost had her breath taken away as she couldn't help but stare, and the only thing that kept her from gasping aloud was the great amount of anger that was boiling inside of her.  
  
But nothing came out from her mouth as she watched, completely enraptured as the figure got up, his beautiful white hair falling softly, carelessly from his face to his side, covering his bare chest. His chest was definitely a thing of beauty, showing his well-chiseled form and muscles. His eyes were a bit hazy as he opened them to gaze at her. Even his large golden eyes seemed to take her senses away. She felt blood rush to her face as she realized after her moment of intense, unabashed staring, that he slept naked.  
  
Sesshou-Maru watched intrigued as the girl, who had so rudely awakened him from his slumber, stared at his body and he felt a rush of immense pride as she did so. He felt himself staring back at her; he had been right, she did look lovely in silk, the crimson red silk that seemed to hug her body, caressing every part of her without her consent. He was fascinated by her as he took in every detail. She was breathing very heavily from her exercise but of course she was trying her very best not to show it. Her hair was a bit tangled since she just woke up but even so, it cascaded beautifully down her shoulders; his eyes lingered on the shoulder that the silk had slid off of; it probably happened when she was running through his corridors.  
  
Oh, he knew. He had known that she had taken a trip through his home the moment that she left his room. He had been awake since then; that was why the lights had not bothered him so when he commanded the lights to blaze freely at her calling out his name, even if it did take him a short moment to adjust his eyesight. He had wanted to shock her, to scare her after making so much commotion in his home at such a late hour. But he had not been able to tell if she had been scared, since her heart had been beating so quickly already.  
  
He watched as she began to blush, and then turn her body aside; he could not help but allow a small smile to grace his face at her modesty. 'The modesty that came after the staring,' he thought dryly, his smirk widening. But then it disappeared quickly as she spoke, the words loud only enough for his ears to hear,  
  
"What have I done to you that you would bring me here?" in this sentence alone, he could hear the bitterness and anger and frustration in her voice. Did she hate him, he wondered. He did not reply to her question but waited instead. After a moment of silence--a moment so quiet that the only sound came from the crackling fire in the fireplace in front of her--she turned halfway around, enabling him to gaze at her profile. She did not look at him but rather at the far side of the room, and she whispered, "Haven't I been in enough pain today that I had to wake up here, in this horrible place... filled with demons? A place where I'm not familiar with?" she paused, uncertain, then continued, "I feel like such a stranger, in a place where I'm not wanted..."  
  
He was tempted to answer her, to retort to her questions or to soothe away her anxiety, but there was something in her quiet despair that intrigued him and he wanted her to continue. What pain had she been going through today? he asked her silently. He watched, almost astonished as tears fell down her face. He was mesmerized as her tears fell, her body trembling, threatening to fall over to the ground so that she could weep and mourn again. He wondered why she continued to cry; after all, hadn't she done enough crying for one day? She stood upright though, her lips wavering as she opened her mouth to speak, her face slowly turning to face him, "Why did you bring me here?"  
  
The tears streaked own her face, the tears in her eye, and the sadness that illuminated from her body was enough to make him want to come to her and embrace her as he had that afternoon. To feel her small body lying in his lap as she depended solely on him. It had been an incredible new experience, an experience that he actually wanted to try again. "Should I have left you then?" he asked her in his own way of answering her. He was surprised when the tone of his voice was chiding her, almost reprimanding her in a compassionate way, "Do you think that I did not know the pain that you have been feeling? That I should leave you there so that you might cry again?"  
  
"Like I am now?" she retorted angrily, clenching her fists by her side. Her eyes narrowed into slits, and then finally, as if making up her mind, she marched to the side of his bed, swooped down and grabbed the discarded cloth at the foot of his bed. Without looking at him, she flung the open sheet at his lower body, turning her head away as the cloth fluttered from the air onto his body, covering him quite decently. He was tempted to smirk again but commanded himself to keep up a stern exterior, to show no compassion to her at all. But... She showed such innocence. "All I wanted to do was to be at home and away from your kind," she spat vehemently, not able to keep the anger from her voice any longer. "I should be at home! Surrounded by the people that I love, surrounded by those who care about me, those who would never hurt me! Why?" she asked, her tone despairing, the anger fading from her voice as she started to breath heavily. "Why on earth," she paused as she stared into his eyes searching for the answers that he would not give her. "... did you bring me here?"  
  
"I brought you here for my own reasons," he answered simply, forcing himself to forget about the action that she just made concerning his lack of modesty, and making himself concentrate on her words to give her an answer that would not betray his demon heritage by being too kind. "I did not bring you here so that you might mourn more," the words that came out of his mouth were clipped now, forced and emotionless. He needed to get a hold of himself, he had been much too compassionate to her and she would take advantage of that, that much he was sure. He coolly set his face, his facial expression now stony and rigid and he willed himself to be the cold-blooded demon that he knew himself to be.  
  
"But I am!" she retorted, her voice edgy. She hated the way she sounded right now, whining like a child to a parent. He had helped her this afternoon, she reminded herself. When she had no one else to turn to, he was there, surprisingly. She had thought that he would kill her, remembering that brief moment of fear when he first approached. But then, she hadn't cared anymore, and she just wanted to cry and be herself, the person that she never showed to Inu-Yasha despite the fact that she had always desperately wanted to. She snapped out of that line of thought, forcing her to attend to the conversation at hand. "It doesn't help that I wake up in a strange place where I don't recognize anyone. I was terrified, waking up in a room where I couldn't see a thing," she admitted readily, accusing him as if he had intended that all along. It did not take her long to realize that she had just told him another one of her weaknesses. It was already bad enough that he had watched her cry so many times today; it was bad enough that he had shared her sorrow... he that was a dog demon, kin to the one that scarred her soul. Her heart swelled with bitterness, angry with herself for constantly reminding herself of her pain.  
  
Sessho-Maru could see what her train of thought was leading up to. He knew that she was trying to make him guilty, enough to make him bring her back to where she wanted to be. But he would be damned if he allowed any human, even her, to be devious enough to use him like that. But that was where her deviousness ended. He hadn't even needed to delve into her mind to know that she was no longer deviously plotting against him to use him, but again, frustrating him to no ends, her feeling of despair resurfaced in her mind, tormenting her. "You are angry," he started simply, feeling the frustrations in his mind but not showing it on his exterior.  
  
"Of course I'm angry," she snapped.  
  
"Hai," Sessho-Maru answered her curtly. "Demo," he drawled out as he suggested an ulterior emotion, one that would ease her instead of frustrate her as the current emotion was doing. "Shouldn't you be groveling in fear, as you did the first time you met me?"  
  
She laughed then, much to his dismay. Her laughter was hollow, so very empty. It was a contrast to the beauty that he had once seen in her before tonight. "Is that what you have brought yourself to believe, Sessho-Maru-sama?" she asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm as she drawled out his name.  
  
He was taken aback, wondering what in hell and on earth the mortal girl was talking about.  
  
"That -I- have been scared witless by -you-?" Kagome wanted to laugh again, but she hated the way she sounded right now. Just so bitter... and angry at the world, just like her dream had portrayed her at the end of the nightmare. Alone, insane, and unloved. She shuddered, despite the warmth the fire gave her. Instead, she said, taunting him further, "You... I despised you upon meeting you, Sessho-Maru-sama," she whispered. "To see that you've taken Inu-Yasha's mother and hurt her, just because it was his weakness... You disgusted me." She scoffed lightly. Tears still formed in her eyes, even as the old ones were dried by the fire. He was quiet as she spoke, so she continued. "You're a murderer. A cold-hearted murderer."  
  
Wheels began turning in his mind as those words brought up purposefully forgotten memories of his past. He shunned those memories, putting them away in a place where he could not reach. Angry that she had been able to dig up those thoughts, he readily targeted her to he the target for his anger. He recognized readily that this girl that had once stood so innocently before him would not yield to anger, would not be phased by fear. She was worse than any demoness at this point, unwilling to change.  
  
He did not find it difficult anymore to harden his heart against the girl. She had touched parts of him that he never knew existed, but at this point, he never wanted to feel those parts ever again. Compassion, care and concern. They were all mortal weaknesses. He was immortal and had no place for those pitiful things in his life. His demon eyes glowed, ready to kill her with a glance. He knew that he would never be able to forgive her for making him feel the things that he did. But forgiveness was for the weak. He would never need to give it.  
  
"Forgive me," she murmured suddenly.  
  
Sessho-Maru froze in his bed. 'Kuso!' he thought angrily, clenching the sheets tightly in his grip. 'I wanted to kill you,' he screamed in his mind. She was a witch then, he thought dryly, forcing himself to be calm once again. It was the only possible reason that he could think of. How else was she able to make him feel so many emotions in so little time? He closed his eyes, damning her yet all the while he kept wondering what made him feel the way he did.  
  
"It's just that... I should be home," she thought aloud, voicing her excuse. "I only want to be at home with my family..."  
  
He almost snorted out loud, "You are fine here," he told her curtly, cutting her off while still trying to hold his temper. "They are mere humans, after all."  
  
"Mere humans?" she asked him, whirling to face him. She stared into his eyes, and he stared into her soul in return. Her eyes were furious, filled with anger, anger that was still there from her outburst earlier. He calmed then, feeling a strange, odd sense of comfort in knowing that he was not the only one struggling with his emotions. He tried to keep his gaze cool so that he would not betray any emotions, he could not afford to let her gain anymore ground on him than what little she already had. He watched, amused, as she continued her little temper tantrum, half-relieved that it was not him that was throwing his own temper.  
  
"What is it about us 'mere humans' that we're so inferior to you?" she asked, the emotions in her eyes speaking volumes. "Is it because you hunt us down to kill us? Just for your amusement? Admit it," she cried, accusing him. "You don't even hunt us for food! You find us and kill us just because we live, don't you? Because we merely exist? Or is it because of something else? Perhaps the fact that we have emotions, that we experience so many different kinds of feelings such as pain, hurt and despair... love, kindness, compassion... Is that why you hunt us down? Because we have souls that are bared to the world, unlike you and your kind?"  
  
"And you believe that we do not have souls?" he inquired, one eyebrow cocked in amusement. He leaned back against the soft, feather filled pillows and waited patiently for her reply, wondering if the human girl had been educated at all.  
  
"A soul is nothing without the heart," she replied quickly, shaking her head vehemently. "You are just a mere demon," she stated simply, turning away from him to organize her thoughts. "You have no heart. You can't possibly feel love and kindness... compassion and these kinds of emotions like humans can." She closed her eyes as a familiar feeling trickled down her spine but this feeling wasn't comforting as it had been before; rather it was harsh against her body, rough almost as it sent shivers throughout her body; the same kind of chill that happened just a few minutes earlier. That chill had terrified her so much that out of instinct she had apologized to him. At the moment, she really did not want to apologize. After all, the bastard deserved what little criticism she gave him yet even so, as soon as she did apologize, a warm trickling sensation had completely engulfed her being, making her feel glad that she actually did apologize to him.  
  
Ruefully, she rubbed her arms as she felt the odd, discomforting chill but continued nevertheless, "Demons are ruthless, showing no emotions but hatred and revenge... And your lust for blood. You never think of anyone but yourself and how to hurt others around you. You demand respect without giving it; you expect us humans to do whatever you want, and then yell at us for not accomplishing the task, even though we have. Demons... disgust me."  
  
A low rumble emerged from his throat and he slipped off the bed, wrapping the thin cloth around his waist unconsciously for her benefit. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him move and slowly took a couple of steps away from him and towards the dimming fire. He continued to approach her, ignoring the fact that she was moving away from him. Inwardly, he smiled, feeling the rush of pleasure again as he heard her heartbeat accelerate with each step that he took towards her. 'Did not fear me, did you?' he thought callously. 'Despise me... will you?' The rush of pleasure radiated from his entire being as he approached her. She stood so closely to the fire now, shying away from him until she could not move any closer to the fire. He stood behind her, shielding himself from the intense warmth of the fire yet he still felt the body heat that radiated from her body.  
  
He stood close behind her, inhaling her scent, hearing her unsteady breathing and the rapid pace of her heart. Tentatively, he rested his hand on her shoulder and felt her shiver underneath his touch. The warm bare skin underneath his fingertips sent rushes of liquid fire throughout his body. He felt strange and out of place but at the same time, oddly relaxed--he had never felt this combination of feelings before and it intrigued him. Brushing his palm down her shoulder, his fingertips reached the edge of the cloth at her shoulder and tugged it gently back over her body, covering her and taking away the temptation of touching her bare skin again. A part of him was upset when he realized that she was oblivious to the feelings that she sent through him. He closed his eyes and leaned near her head and whispered to her, a tone smooth and sultry, "Do you despise all demons, Kagome, or just the one that hurt you?"  
  
She spun away from him to his left, slapping his hand away from her body; ironically, the silken cloth fell off her other shoulder as she pulled away. For a second, he was shocked, not expecting this reaction. A red aura began to glow softly around her body, her eyes filled with tears and anger. She hissed at him, her tone filled with passionate rage, "Don't touch me," she growled, punctuating every word.  
  
Her body heaved with exertion, and she wondered numbly why she had reacted the way she did. Her mind was filled with anger and she couldn't think straight, but she felt the disappointment in her heart as she stared at Sesshou-Maru. He had been with her that afternoon, feeling her pain with her--or so he said. And she had turned on him even despite all of his hospitality. She felt ashamed in her heart and was at a terrible loss for words. And as she stared at him, she began to see the resemblance that he had to... him. The golden eyes, glaring at her; long white shimmering hair that she just wanted to reach out and touch; a strong chest that had been warm against her body. Her eyes glazed over with tears as for a fleeting instant, she actually did she him, crying out in her mind, 'Inu-Yasha...?'  
  
Then, in a flash, Sesshou-Maru's eyes blazed with a terrible anger, his whole body trembling in a way that he had never trembled since he was just a little pup, when he was immature and impatient, stupid and naive. His own powerful aura glowed from his body, a bright red flame. Kagome's aura was nothing compared to his. Immediately, Kagome cooled her temper, flinching away from his sight. He was right to be angry, she told herself, blinking away the tears. 'He was nothing but good to me,' she thought. 'And this is how I repay him.' She braced herself for the impact that she knew was coming, hoping that the blow would be swift and painless, that she would be knocked-out before she could feel it. Instead, it never came.  
  
Tentatively, she opened her eyes, her body still rigid. He stood in front of her, his body blazing as brightly as the renewed flame in the fireplace behind him. He was still angry, his whole body was tense. Then, he opened his mouth slowly, inhaling slowly as he matched her gaze. "Get out!" he roared finally, the whole palace trembling underneath his roar. His body flared with flames and she stepped back, stumbling over her robe onto the floor. Scared beyond her senses, she stared into his eyes; being so scared, she was not able to respond to his demand.  
  
When she didn't move, he let out another mighty bellow, loud and long as she got herself off the floor, her movements stiff and awkward. She found her way to the door, pulling hard with all her might, she stumbled outside, running from the room for dear life. She gasped as tears found her way to her eyes again, half out of fear... and regret. She had made her way down two hallways before she tripped again, sending herself sprawling across the hallway. But this time, she did not get up; instead, she wrapped her arms around her head, sobbing, releasing loud chokes of despair into the night. The sounds of her weeping resonated against the walls, echoing throughout the palace.  
  
It was her fault that he was angry, she knew, her heart crying out in pain. But that had not been the reason why she was crying. Fear gripped her heart, a harsh and painful grasp that she felt physically as well as emotionally. She had stared into his eyes before she left and she didn't see anger there... instead, she saw pain. And somehow, though she did not know why, she had been the cause of his pain.  
  
She buried her face in her hands, shaking her head wildly in disbelief. 'What have I done?' she cried in despair. 'He had been kind, been gentle towards me... and this...' Choked sobs sounded again as she asked herself how she could do that to him. He had be there for her when she was hurting, yet now, he was hurting because of her. Why was life being so unkind to her? she thought frantically. "Given so much... Got nothing in return," she whispered aloud. "And he gave me something... That I'll forever remember, but he, in return, got nothing but pain." She felt a horrible feeling in her gut, a pain that tripled when she recalled that it wasn't her pain that she was feeling, but the pain that she gave to someone else. She felt so guilty, so hopeless. And to top it all off, she was still in pain from Inu-Yasha.  
  
The feeling that she felt when Sesshou-Maru touched her reminded her so much of Inu-Yasha. It had been so pleasant, felt so wonderfully perfect to her that it reminded her of how much she wanted Inu-Yasha to told her like that, in a lovingly manner, free from all barriers. His touch had felt completely wonderful. But then, to remember what Inu-Yasha did with -her-... She shuddered as she remembered the way she had automatically thought of Inu-Yasha when Sesshou-Maru touched her. Then she had pulled away, thinking that it -was- Inu-Yasha that touched her. She shivered in disgust, wondering if Inu-Yasha would really dare do such a thing, wondered if he thought that he could touch her after to had touched Kikyo.  
  
Then she brutally reminded herself that Sesshou-Maru was not Inu-Yasha. They were two very different people that despised each other. And while Inu-Yasha had his own unique look, Sesshou-Maru had the kind of beauty that demanded respect... two very different creatures. Kagome shakily got to her feet, brushing away wet strands of hair that had interfered with her tears when they fell against her cheek. She told herself sternly that she would never mistaken one for the other again.  
  
She turned around, feeling for that particular presence that she knew that was in the back of her mind. She had to go back and apologize. And if he was still angry and upset, she would face the consequences, no matter what they might be. 

~

He finally stopped his roar when she left the room, the door slamming behind her. He panted heavily, his rage blinding him beyond his senses. He had never been so angry than he had been now. At least, not in a long while--not in a very long while. Still, despite this fact, he was still angry, his mind hurt and his body ached to throw anything to get rid of this nasty feeling in his body. He trembled, slightly amused that the human girl had managed to get such a rise out of him that no other demon, including his father, had been able to get from him.  
  
Mindlessly, he tied the sheet tightly around his waist as a wraith appeared from the darkness with another cloth. The demon quickly moved to the bed, soundlessly and left the cloth on it. Just as quickly and quietly, he was gone from the master's personal chambers. Warily, Sesshou-Maru ran his claws through his hair, taken-aback when his fingers felt damp after touching his forehead. His heart slowly began to decelerate from its abnormal speed as he sat himself on his comfortable bed, tired with all that had happened. This had not been an uneventful evening, but it had not been as he expected it to be.  
  
'Damn wench,' he thought angrily. Then reprimanded himself for being angry. He would never let her get a rise out of him again, no matter what it took. Even if he had to hurt himself to keep his composure. His sudden outburst had been completely unacceptable, and he would have to control himself more much carefully from this point on.  
  
'Just kill her,' his demon mind hissed. She was such a bother. An idiot that spoke too often and too carefree in his presence.  
  
But then he was reminded of her timidity, and her innocence. He swallowed, remembering the way that she looked at him that afternoon, after he had approached her. There was an openness that she displayed, showing her as completely vulnerable. But just as he remembered that about her, he also remembered the way her mind called out to -him-. His bastard brother. It had been a mental call so strong that he couldn't help but overhear, even if he had put up a mind barrier between her and him. He was disgusted and filled with self-pity as he thought of how she had called for the bastard when she had been looking directly at him. His claws became fists, clenching tightly, so tightly that it produced blood. "Damn him too," he growled incoherently.  
  
'So she had been hurt by him,' he mused softly, still in the midst of controlling his temper. 'And she had the nerve to compare him to me.' He snorted out loud, making his resolution. He would break her, he decided. And she would no longer think of his half-brother, but only him.  
  
Almost instantly, his anger cooled, his demon conscience temporary satisfied with his evil intent. It was as if he had done too many kind deeds today and that had offset his balance. But if he succeeded in breaking her and bending the unattainable girl to his will, then he would be embracing his demon-hood again. He would no longer be weak as this girl had made him. A smirk graced his evil face as he slid further into his huge bed, the lights dimming all around him until the only light came from the dying embers in the fireplace. Satisfied, he closed his eyes and called on his minions.  
  
He decided, he would let her sleep tonight. Tomorrow she would be his.  
  
Commanding the wraiths to take her to her room, he waited until he could feel her safely back in the room that he put her in. Instead, a call came back from the minor demon, telling him that the girl refused to be led back to her room by them. Sesshou-Maru almost laughed out loud by this girl's tenacity. He told them in reply to let her be and to allow her roam around the domain. And that when she got lost, they were to take her back to her room.  
  
He cut off his connection to them and cleared his mind, creating a barrier from anyone or thing that might try to delve into his mind. Then he closed his eyes and willed sleep to come to him, exhausted from the night's activity with this... entertaining, yet bothersome guest in his home. 

~

She slipped back into the room, a room just as dark as her own. She closed her eyes and tried to remember everything as it was. Lifting the hem of her robe, she took slow, tentative steps towards the bed with her eyes closed. When she felt that she had arrived at her destination, she opened her eyes. She was quite a bit closer to the bed than she thought she was. Shaking her head, she focused her eyes and saw a translucent sheen in front of her. She reached towards the middle and pulled back the sheet to her right, opening the canopy on her side.  
  
She looked inside and could distinguish the firm outline of his body, his lower half hidden behind the sheets. She blushed and looked away, searching for his face. After a moment of gazing blindly into the dark, she found his face. She was mesmerized by the way his chest fell with every breath he took, the way his lips were slightly parted as he took in the night air. The crescent moon on his forehead intrigued her as well as the stripe marks on his face. He looked at peace, completely in contrast in what he had appeared to be just a half-hour ago. With a sigh, she released the curtain, allowing it to fall back into its resting place. She leaned against the nearest canopy post, the one by his head, against the curtains. Her eyes were tired and she was here to apologize to him but of course, the stupid mutt had already gone to sleep.  
  
She smiled dimly at her choice of words. 'He's probably a pure-bread,' she corrected herself. 'Too high and mighty to be a mutt.' She chuckled softly, and decided that she should go back to her room. After all, if she could face this monster, she most definitely could deal with the darkness in her room.  
  
She had not even taken two steps from her resting position to the door when she was pulled between the drapes into the secrecy of the hidden bed. Her heart pounded a million beats per second as she found herself lying down on the bed, her shoulders bared to the harsh night air as a result of being brutally manhandled and she gasped as a pair of golden eyes glowed down, staring into the midst of her eyes; the gaze was just too close for comfort. Her mind panicked as she gasped for air, her lips parting, almost ready to scream from fright.  
  
Instead, no sound come from her mouth as she felt one of his clawed fingertips trace her bottom lip. "What are you doing here?" he asked her, his voice cold yet husky at the same time.  
  
She swallowed and tears filled her eyes, finding her original goal much harder to do underneath these circumstances. And she was literally underneath the circumstance. "G... gomen," she whispered, the word barely escaping her lips, her lips brushing against his finger as she spoke. A tear trickled down her face and she cursed herself for this weakness, especially since it was a weakness that she was showing to... what was an enemy. But now... she wasn't quite sure of what he was.  
  
He was surprised at the small feeling of pleasure that he received, lying on top of her body, her body trembling against his. He was not pleased that she was crying... again. But he made no comment of it as he absentmindedly allowed his fingers to explore her face, tracing her soft cheek to the lines of her chin and then tangling his fingers in her hair. "For what?" he murmured, losing himself in the pleasant sensation.  
  
"For..." she started, her voice small as she felt his fingers run through her hair. It was not a horrible feeling, but rather pleasant almost. "For hurting you," she choked out, forcing herself to say the words that she had practiced saying. "For making you upset and angry and for hurting you with my selfishness." The words came out in a blur. Once had she started, she just wanted to get it done and over with.  
  
He was astonished again, forever being surprised by this girl. Had she known that he knew she called out for Inu-Yasha? How did she know he had been hurt? Especially when the only feeling that he showed had been anger? Slowly, responsively, he pulled her head into the crook of his neck. For some reason, he was calmed as she quietly sobbed against him, all evil intents dispersing as he held her comfortingly against his body.  
----------  
Comments? Suggestions? Write to me: [Princess_Faux@hotmail.com][1] or visit my webpage: [http://www.geocities.com/Princess_Faux][2].  


   [1]: mailto:Princess_Faux@hotmail.com
   [2]: http://www.geocities.com/Princess_Faux



	3. Part III

[ The Difference :|: Princess Faux ]

Disclaimer: "Inu-Yasha" is the property of Takahashi Rumiko. The story and the characters do not belong to me; I'm merely borrowing them for the amusement of other Inu-Yasha fans out there. Seeing how I just said that, don't you dare come near me with a lawsuit.  
  


"The Difference"  
Part III  
Princess Faux  
----------  
Wind blew against him, rustling his clothes, tangling his hair; everything was in an uproar as he felt the ground fly against his feet. It felt as if the ground was the one moving, and not he. The rhythm of his feet pounding against the earth was imbedded into his mind; he could hear it as if it were alive, coursing throughout his head, body and blood. It was the natural, completely animalistic instinct in him that allowed him to travel so: to move immediately, speedily without a moment's hesitation.  
  


Trees loomed in front of him, now behind him, now gone, lost and forgotten. The bare ground was hard and cold against his bare feet, but he ignored it, continuing at the fearsome pace he was already moving at. Bushes surrounded the ground, sometimes leaving him bare patches of ground to step upon; other times, giving him no space at all, forcing him to take gigantic leaps over the bushes in order for him to continue to where he was going. Limbs and branches were all over the place, whether still connected to the trees or broken and dead on the forest floor. Grass sometimes appeared on the floor, making the ground slightly more comfortable for him to step on yet only for him to crush in an instant.  
  


The animals of the forest were sometimes eerily silent; others were sometimes loud and obnoxious. There were birds that flittered nosily from their nests to the skies, trying to avoid the dangerous demon that was coming their way. Monkeys, chimpanzees screeched in near approval to his actions, as if cheering him on. Forrest crickets continued their noisy night melody. All were natural scenes that he was used to once long ago when he had done this more often. A time that seemed as if it were only yesterday. Seemed like it was only yesterday because he had been asleep during most of the time that he had lived.  
  


He could hear his fast, yet steady breathing, taking in pants of air to fill his lungs periodically, to keep up his speed. Almost in the same rhythm of his breathing were the heavy pounding of his feet against the ground. It was mesmerizing and it urged him to continue, to chase--to feed. Swiftly, he moved from side to side, never losing his target, breathing, inhaling his prey's scent, never allowing his prey to go too far. It was a game to him, just an unnecessary game. He wasn't hungry, hadn't been hungry for days. Food was nothing to him, nothing of importance. But the hunt, the chase, the thrill...  
  


In the hunt, he didn't need to think, didn't need to formulate a plan--not that he ever did. Everything came out of his instincts; everything came to him out of sheer will. Years ago he had been faster, had been ruthless. Now, he was considered weak; not the weakest of demons--certainly not!--but he had let his human side of him out too often, showing care, compassion... No, he wasn't as strong willed as he once was. But now that he was hunting again, everything flooded back into his mind.  
  


His claws dug deep into the earth and he pushed himself forward, taking in the deep, heavy breaths of air as he sped forward. Something darted in front of him just on the border of his line of vision. On instinct, he turned sharply, diving through the brush in front of him.  
  


The prey was in his sight now, tired, worn out form the chase. In an incredibly quick reaction, the demon pounced, barely missing the target as it dodged away, falling heavily. It squirmed, struggling with its long legs as it scrambling off the ground. The demon growled, baring his fangs. Again, he dived right back into the hunt, his eyes glaring hungrily on the wary animal.  
  


With another pounce, the hanyou captured his prey. In the blink of an eye, the prey was dead, sliced cleanly. In that instant, Inu-Yasha let out a loud bellow of anguish, the heavy burden of his pain coming back at him in full blast. It had been the chase and the hunt that had enabled him to forget everything, to forget his pain, his miseries, and just to be... To /be/. Now that the hunt was completed, everything surrounded him again, pushing at his thoughts and at his heart. The hanyou fell to his knees, his hands covered in blood, his clothing intact, barely dirty from his invigorating exercise.  
  


The pain and emotions surged through his head, making him despise himself for being so weak. One of the many benefits of his demon side was that a demon really did not have to care about the emotions that lay deep beneath the exterior. A true demon was completely ruthless; he would not care about what he was doing, he would not care about the consequences. He would never care about the people or other beings that would be affected by his actions. Never. All a true demon would care about is himself.  
  


Demons were funny creatures. They were completely selfish. And greedy. And emotionless. Or... were they?  
  


Inu-Yasha's heart was still pounding in his ears. He swallowed, continuing to take in deep, heavy breaths to calm himself. Where was his self-control? Everything around him was his life. This chaos that was called the forest was his home, his order. He knew where everything was, knew everything in it. He should be resting now, comfortably on a branch where the wind would blow softly against his face and soothe him into slumber.  
  


He should be lounging in a tree, watching her sleep, as he always did. The girl would be curled up in her 'sleeping bag' with Shippo nearby, sleeping in the crook of one of the tree's visible roots. Her hand would be resting lightly on the pillow and her face would be at peace in her slumber--completely different from whenever she was angry with him. And she would look completely beautiful. Especially in the moonlight when its beams fell against her face, outlining the small curve of her chin and her body nestled in the bag. Sometimes, her lips would part as she gave a small sigh, whether from pleasant dreams or just from weariness, giving him the urge to reach out and touch her lips with a fingertip or if he so dared to hope, his own lips.  
  


But wherever it was that he rested, he would never be too far that he couldn't hear her breathing, or her heart beating in her chest. He would always be near enough to smell her lovely scent, the scent that drove him crazy at times and soothed him at others. He had never dared to be too far away from her at night for fear that something would happen to her and he would lose her. There had always been that urgency to protect her, to keep her from harm no matter where they were or what situation they were in. She was his and he would always protect her. Or so he believed.  
  


Foolishly, he had been content with what he had. He had been given another chance from the Kami; a chance to make amends for what had happened between Kikyo and he. And he believed that if he could repair things this time, perhaps his punishment would not be so severe: for nearly destroying the whole village; for setting the village on fire and killing ruthlessly those who lived inside of it. For nearly becoming a demon in his heart.  
  


His breathing slowly became normal again, his heartbeat slowed to its normal pace. His eyes were unfocused as he stared off into the night. The animals of the forest that were once so noisy during his hunt were now deadly silent after being frightened by his animalistic roar. Absentmindedly, he raised his fingers to his mouth and licked away the blood, cleaning his bloodied claws.  
  


Things were complicated in his mind; so complicated that he supposed he would never be able to explain it to someone else, or much less to himself. There were so many things that he believed in, things that had been set firmly in his mind when he was a little child. But now, as he was just a little bit older... from all the things that he had seen and learned, he knew differently--but did he believe differently?  
  


As a child, he knew that he was different from everyone else. Not a human, but not a demon. And his place in the world was undefined; he would have to find the definition for himself. He had seen countless demons in his life and they were all horrible. Crude, evil, selfish and conniving. Not one demon that he had met had been anything like his father. Not even Sesshou-Maru, his father's one true son. And so he had believed it: demons were evil and unforgiving. His father was something else.  
  


His was forced away from his home after his mother died. Brutally murdered. He ran away to a place far away from his father's house. And then he had met Kikyo. She was nothing like a demon, even though she had pretended to have a heart of stone. But in many ways, she reminded him of his mother. He had spent countless afternoons, mornings, days and nights following her, learning about her, watching her. She had become an object of fascination because she was human. Perhaps there was also something more, but first because she was a human that reminded him of his mother.  
  


He would see his mother in her when she was playing with the children, protecting them from danger, or teaching them things. Always moving like a goddess, as if floating in the air. There was a certain grace that surrounded her being and it fascinated him. And then she seemed like a sister whenever she caught him darting in the trees, scolding him, telling him to stay away. Then, she was much more when she allowed him to come near to her, to spend her afternoons with her. And he was able to share a little of who he was with her. She in turn, shared a little bit of what she truly wanted, with him. And in this, they had something truly unique.  
  


In time, he was betrayed. By Naraku, but at the time he had believed that it was Kikyo that betrayed him. That shattered his dreams and his beliefs in mankind: his belief that man was truly better than demons, because they did /good/ things and believed in good things. He never wanted to trust another human again.  
  


And then he met her. She woke him up with her scent, not Kikyo's, but hers, a scent completely and uniquely hers. He didn't trust her, did not want to, did not believe that he ever would. But he stayed near her for reasons unknown. And he made her stay close to him as well. He told himself that all he wanted from this girl was the jewel, and once he had that jewel, he would become a demon so that it would make his heart stronger so that he might forget about the betrayal he lived through caused by Kikyo.  
  


What he could not figure out now was: did he mean to make his heart stronger? or colder? He truly believed that a demon's heart was cold, as his was--at least partially. His was cold because he never allowed himself to grow with her, to show her his feelings. And a demon's heart wasn't really strong; after all, it was only a cold, unfeeling heart that allowed a demon to do the cruel things that he did, wasn't it?  
  


As he thought about it, he could only think that if he wanted a strong heart, he would have to become human. Only humans had a heart of such strength, like hers. His eyes closed in shame, a pain that burned him deeply. Would she really come back and face him? Of course she would; she was Kagome and she kept her promises. But how she could ever come back to face him, the horrible creature that he was... It completely baffled him. He was completely terrified at the prospect of meeting her again; to have her scream at him, or worse yet, look at him the way she did that afternoon, eyes uncaring and cold. His body burned apathetically and his mouth dried in distaste. He would be broken, this time so much more than the time he had been disappointed by Kikyo's betrayal.  
  


He opened his eyes, staring off in the night sky. He knew he should get going, since all the carcass was doing was rotting and attracting unnecessary attention. But he was tired, in a sense, at least mentally tired. The hunt had done nothing but increase his senses and toughened up his body. He felt alert for anything, but his mind felt lost and disoriented. It frustrated him to no ends, to feel so alive and so invigorated yet at the same time, so slow... so old. Slowly, he got to his feet and licked his lips clean. Stooping over, he picked up the dead animal and swung it over his shoulder, intending to bring it back to the village.  
  


----------  
  


The sounds of nature surrounded her completely. The wind enveloped her in a comforting hug, caressing her as it ran its fingers through her hair. She had her eyes closed in concentration, giving the pretense that she was actually listening for something unheard. Nature was alive, surrounding her, pushing at her to recognize nature's awesome presence. Had she not been trained to stay away from its temptations, she would have been lost on her road on meditation.  
  


Right now, away from nature's pushing and prodding, away from the distractions of living, she was being one with nature, and merely existing. With the peace so fully embedded in her mind, she allowed herself to be calm once again, away from the uproar that was life.  
  


Was she escaping her life? The answer was no. After all, how could she when she wasn't truly living? She was a shell with a soul. This wasn't even her real body. In likelihood, it was part of her body, part of her ashes mixed with earth. Yet for weeks, she had been so convinced that she was alive. She was breathing air, and though she was not truly alive, she was living. She had vowed that day when Urasue brought her back to the land of the living... she swore that she would not die until he did.  
  


Weeks of wandering had brought her back here, back to the village that she once served at as a priestess, protecting the Shikon jewel and everyone within the vicinity. But within those few weeks, she found herself wondering about that day. Her soul, she remembered so distinctly, did not want to come back to the land of the living. Perhaps, in the land of the dead, she had found peace, only to be ripped away from that peace back into a life of hatred for a hanyou that betrayed her.  
  


She believed in him, gave him her thoughts and her dreams. She even believed that he would spend the rest of his life with her and in doing so, believed that she would not die old and alone like she thought she would before she met Inu-Yasha.  
  


His words from that day came back to haunt her, telling her that he no longer dreamed of trying to convince her that he still cared for her. What had he meant? What did it all mean? That girl, could she have had so much influence on him in--what? a matter of weeks?--when she had his whole teenage lifetime with him to share? Could she be so easily replaceable?  
  


All these thoughts brought nothing to her but anger, a warm caressing sensation that flowed not only through her body and blood, but also in her soul. Or what little there remained of it. It burned inside of her, slowly feeding her energy like she had never felt before. As a priestess, she only dabbled in the powers of good, using these powers to ward off demons, sometimes slaying them to prevent them from coming back, and also to warn other demons of her power. She had used these powers to protect the innocent.  
  


But this new power that burned inside of her was different. It burned with a fiery passion inside of her, and not only did it burn, it grew, giving her more power than she had ever imagined. To find peace within her being, within her soul, all she had to do was use this immense power against Inu-Yasha, and she would take him to Hell with her--to spend an eternity together.  
  


A shiver went throughout her body as she was called back to the times when they were once allies and companions; a time when he didn't fear her and when she trusted him with her entire being. He had promised a lifetime with her where they would live a normal life. She would no longer be a slave to the jewel and she would no longer ever feel the aching cold of loneliness.  
  


She was an innocent fool... of course she was. It was all she had been to believe that a demon could think of anyone other than himself... He had planned to deceive her from the start. But she wanted so desperately to believe otherwise... This demon, that she saw this afternoon, standing so vulnerably in the forest, waiting for his precious miko to come back to him and make up with him. It was the perfect opportunity to get to him and destroy him once and for all.  
  


But there was something that tugged at her being when she approached him. Watching him from a distance made her realize that he was still going through the exact same vulnerability that she had been through, and perhaps, was still going through. She knew he was scared of living a life alone, knowing that he would never be accepted in the ways that he wanted to be accepted. He was an idiot for not letting her know his true feelings. An idiot that was only hurting himself for the things that he was scared of doing.  
  


In this small moment of realization, she could not let the anger overwhelm her. Not when he was so close to her, physically and emotionally. She wanted to tell him, show him that he would never be alone if he allowed her to be there with him. She had to know if he was still the same and willing or if he had changed. But she didn't know what she would do if she would find out either.  
  


She was a wise priestess. She was brought up to think on all aspects of the situation. Who would have ever imagined that she would be in such a tricky predicament such as this?  
  


Looking at him was like looking into a mirror that reflected her innermost feelings on vulnerability. Anger had no place here. As the anger receded from her thoughts and from her being, she thought clearly whether or not taking him to Hell would accomplish anything. Would she truly be able to rest in peace? knowing that Inu-Yasha was spending his eternity with her damned in Hell?  
  


Her thoughts had been so clear when his lips touched hers. Anger melted away like the snow on the mountains on a bright, cloudless, sunny day. For once, not only did she feel like she was living again, but she was truly alive, in life, not death.  
  


Now she was here, meditating with all of her being, searching for the right answers. As was expected, she thought much clearer when her mind was free from distractions: not only from life, but also from herself and from her anger.  
  


A beastly cry emerged from the forest, breaking her concentration, sending her back into the land of the living where every being and aspect of life assaulted her senses. She inhaled deeply, calming herself. Anger must wait. She had to find her answers before she damned herself for an eternity.  
  


----------  
  


Kikyo began to rise up from the hard, unfeeling floor. By sheer impulse, she froze in her place, kneeling as she listened for any unusual sounds in the night. Sure enough, as she waited, she heard the rustling of one of the curtains covering the shed outside.  
  


With a skilled hand, she reached out quietly for the bow and her case of arrows. With a soft grip, she slung the case over her shoulder, securing it tightly while making sure the arrows were within reach. Then, with a confidence that came naturally, she left the shrine and headed out towards the shack outside.  
  


Pushing aside the door to the shrine, she felt the wind blow against her face and heard nature much more clearly in her mind than she ever did before. She felt as if she and nature were one again, their hearts beating in perfect harmony. Stepping towards the shed, she pushed aside the curtain with her hand, wondering what she might find inside.  
  


Inside she found Inu-Yasha carving the fur from the raw meat. Slowly, he lifted his eyes from his work to the doorway where he met Kikyo's steady gaze. Without much thought, he turned his head back to his work, moving slowly yet steadily. He finished removing the skin from the meat and laid it neatly aside. It seemed that he knew exactly what he was doing, carving the skin and cleaning the dead animal.  
  


Cautiously, she lowered her bow, letting it rest at her side while she watched his movements. With a knife, he sliced at the meat, swiftly and cleanly, separating the edible meat from the rest. It seemed by his precise cuts and movements that he had done this many times before. He had finished carving the meat and now he started to cut them up into large portions. Setting the knife aside, he reached over the table into a large sack and pulled out a handful of black pepper.  
  


He slowly but evenly dispersed the pepper over the meat, taking his time with each piece, sometimes going back into the bag for more if needed. After that, he reached over the table again and reached into a different sack, one filled with salt. Again, he went through the process and covered each piece with salt. With a heavy sigh, he reached high above to the ceiling of the small room and pulled down some of the spare metal hooks. Swiftly, he pierced each piece of the seasoned meat with its own hook. Then, he raised each piece, one at a time, to the ceiling, leaving it for Kaede to care for in the morning. Once finished with his task, he slowly lowered his arms from the meat, his shoulders sagging, tired and worn out.  
  


He then turned and faced Kikyo who was now leaning comfortably in the doorway, bow and arrow put away. "What did you do that for?" she asked him, her voice quiet in consideration for those who were already fast asleep. "Why did you not just feast upon the meat after you had defeated the animal?"  
  


He shrugged carelessly, a wry smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "I used to do it for you. Kaede is too old to go hunting, and the villagers don't hunt as well as I do anyway." He looked into her eyes once and then looked away as he walked passed her, squeezing through the tight doorway. He noticed through his heightened senses that she followed him, not too far behind.  
  


"You did not even take a bite of your meat," she commented.  
  


"Iie," he confirmed tersely. He stepped outside of the shrine and stooped by the barrow of water that was placed there. Hastily, he dipped his hands into the cold water and washed them from the strong scent of salt as well as the pepper and the blood. Absentmindedly, he stated, "I remember when I used to hunt at night, after I thought you had fallen asleep." He swallowed, looking at his hands, still trying to remove the blood from beneath his fingertips. "I never ate then, either."  
  


Then... it seemed like such a long time ago in her mind. Times of trust between the two seemed far away, too long ago. She knew that if she had killed him that one day she had met him, she wouldn't have all these troubles that she had now. If she had killed him while he was still just a little demon, trying to be a big demon, she wouldn't have to worry about all the villagers' lives that he had taken. But she had found him so innocently naive that she couldn't help but spare his worthless life. And he had come back time and time again, no matter how many times she would put an arrow through his body. The next day, he would be there, the same place where she was, his wounds already healed.  
  


Back then Inu-Yasha had hunted quite often. He left to go off on his own, trying to become bigger and stronger. He reasoned with her, telling her that until he took the Jewel of Four Souls from her, he might has well try and become strong anyway. And he would take off after the first big creature his eye saw and he would start the chase. The stupid mutt never knew when to give up; he never knew when a battle was too much for him. But he was young, and he would have to learn. And he always came back, leaving his extra food at her footstep at the very latest hours of the night, always coming when no one would see him.  
  


A small smile found its way to her lips. She missed the naïve little pup, missed the times that she spent with him, missed him with all of her being.  
  


"No. You did not." She didn't know whether it was the night that had made them talk the way they did, or made them feel the way they were feeling--tired and worn out, aged in a way. His movements were slow and weary, as were hers. Perhaps it was the company that they were currently keeping. She felt sorry for him; sorry for all the emotions he was going through. They were emotions that, as a demon, he should have never experienced: pain, sorrow, despair, vulnerability and loss of love.  
  


As he continued to clean his hands, now doing so just because it was something to do, she took a seat on the steps of the shrine. "Why did you never do that?" she asked out of curiosity.  
  


He looked at her, as if she was mad for asking such a question. He shrugged again and took his hands out of the water, flicking his fingers in no specific direction to remove the extra water drops from his hands, before taking a seat on the steps, a few paces away from her. "I don't know." He paused, thinking before continuing. "I hunt... for the hunt."  
  


"To strengthen you," she added. "I know."  
  


He nodded in agreement. "There was no reason for me to eat, if I wasn't hungry. So... I would give it to you, knowing that you would give it to the people that needed the food."  
  


She smiled at the comment. "You have become soft."  
  


His face flushed and he was about to snap back some crude comment before he caught his tongue, thinking the better of it. "It's my human weakness," he retorted. Then, as a lingering thought, "She brought it out."  
  


There was a lapse of silence as he allowed himself to think about her. She was never far from his thoughts anyway. He longed for her so much, to have her back here, next to him like she belonged.   
  


As for Kikyo, she found it surprising that he would even admit so much. Sure, Inu-Yasha was brash, always eager to prove himself. But he had always been a bit timid when it came to his emotions. He had never been able to express any of his feelings except for anger and hatred... emotions of the negative sort. After a moment, she asked quietly, thoughtfully--as if she was talking to herself, "She means a lot to you?"  
  


There was a long period of silence before he parted his lips to answer with a simple word, "Hai."  
  


"Then," Kikyo said. "You must have spent quite a bit of time with her to act the way you do now. After all, it took months, if not a whole year, before you started to talk to me in the open."  
  


"Her... character is a lot different from yours, Kikyo," he answered softly, clawing at the ground with one finger, tracing figures into the earth. "There are things in her that made her seem more... easier for me to be with." He looked out at the dark sky, knowing that it was well into the night already, wondering if his miko was at home, sleeping soundly, or if she was wrestling with her emotions as he was doing now.  
  


"Easier..." Kikyo murmured, pondering the meaning behind the words. It was difficult to see her former love to compare his new beloved with her. It made her want to bring him into Hell and make him suffer as she was. The anger was back, burning brightly in her grasp. Quickly, she shut her eyes and forced the emotion away. As she closed her eyes, she could actually see her anger, a bright, white cloud in her mind. For a moment, it fascinated her, making want to reach out and touch the expanse. In her mind, she actually reached out, her 'fingertips' barely grazing the light. Slightly touching her anger, the energy burned her, coursing throughout her body, through her veins. The power was incredible and frightening at the same time. Scared, she took in one deep, quiet, breath of air; she opened her eyes and reasoned with herself.  
  


He was in love with her reincarnation, a part of her, but not. Time had changed her, this Kagome. And, if she allowed, Time would change her, Kikyo, as well. Perhaps, in time, Kikyo would heal and live again. But even with time, Kikyo knew, she would never be able to live as a human, only as a demon.  
  


"... Different."  
  


Kikyo looked up from her daze and her eyes lingered in Inu-Yasha's still form. "Gomen... nasai...?" she asked slowly, wondering what he was talking about.  
  


With a sigh, he answered her, "She's just different from who you are, Kikyo." He looked up at her shortly, seeing the bewilderment in her eyes. "She's a lot different. She doesn't worry about things as much as you did; of course, she always wants to go back to her home to study... But that's about it. If it weren't for that, I don't think she would worry at all." He snorted in amusement and contempt; "She even loses the Shikon shards from time to time."  
  


Kikyo furrowed her brows, a bit upset. This was her reincarnate? A flimsy little girl that lacked responsibilities to the point where she didn't even care about what the Power of a shard from the Jewel of Four Souls can do if they were to fall into the hands of a youkai? How could this be? she fumed angrily.  
  


"But that's what makes her so unique... She's carefree... and happy most of the time. Not like how she was this afternoon." He swallowed, feeling a sharp pain in his chest. Nevertheless, he continued. "She's so different from who you used to be, from who you are. Perhaps, that's what Kami-sama wanted, you know?" he thought aloud. "Since you had so many responsibilities in your old life, that they created her and gave her your soul, so that you could experience joy and happiness." He was silent again, the ache in his heart growing. "Kami-sama, I miss her already."  
  


He heard the short ruffling of Kikyo's movements before he felt the touch of her hand on his shoulder. "She's changed you."  
  


"She's only helped me become who I wanted to be."  
  


"You wanted to be a full youkai," she objected, without much force.  
  


"I wanted a family, above all."  
  


Kikyo looked away, feeling the bitterness in his voice. They were supposed to be a family, supposed to have become a family before... before that horrible, horrible event. Before her bitterness could eat at her, she smiled as she remembered, "You used to talk about that, with me."  
  


"Hai."  
  


"Remember those afternoons, Inu-Yasha? Sitting in the light of the setting sun, and just... talking about life?"  
  


"Hai."  
  


"Did it seem so long ago?"  
  


Inu-Yasha sighed again and shook his head. "Iie, it doesn't. I've lived for a long time, I suppose. But I don't feel any different from when I was young... and stupid."  
  


Kikyo smirked, wanting to laugh. But laughter coming from her sounded hollow and empty. "Those days do not seem so far away from me, either." A lie. But, she honestly wished that it wasn't so long ago.  
  


Inu-Yasha swallowed the bitter taste he was feeling in his mouth and stood up from the steps of the shrine, shrugging off Kikyo's hand from his shoulder. He wished, resentfully, that it was Kagome that was sitting here with him, sharing the night with her, and just enjoying her company.  
  


He shrugged her off so easily; a movement that was so quick and... thoughtless. Kikyo steeled herself against her emotions, trying to the fight the anger that was slowly building inside of her again. It was torture to her to be here with him, knowing that he wanted somebody else when he himself stated that it was not 'so long ago' when he remembered the times that they shared together. Replaceable--was that what she was?  
  


"I never told her, Kikyo," Inu-Yasha murmured. "To... to allow myself to be here with you, to share sweet memories about a time when we were once happy... it would be to dishonor her."  
  


Kikyo's eyebrows furrowed in thought. "Never? She does not know anything about what you feel for her?"  
  


He did answer right away. He only stared off into the dark before he slowly shook his head in affirmation to her words. "I was... am scared." He turned around and looked at her finally, staring into her eyes with sad, tired eyes of his own. He smiled weakly as he spoke, "What if I lose her again? Like I lost you, Kikyo? I only get so many chances from the Kami. And this is a chance that I don't want to mess up." He turned away again.  
  


Kikyo knew when a fight was over. It wasn't hard to tell when which side was defeated. In this fight, for Inu-Yasha, she had never been in good favor of the odds. The bitterness of knowing that welled up inside of her. It overwhelmed her whole being so much, that she could taste the bitterness in her mouth. "Ne," she murmured, wondering if she was comforting herself or him. "You will not let her go without a fight, would you Inu-Yasha?"  
  


He whirled around, growling, "Of course not!"  
  


She smiled weakly and continued, "Afraid of losing her, are you? Ne, Inu-Yasha, you are such a weak demon to be afraid without even trying."  
  


"I am not weak!" he growled again, darting before her with such speed that even she was surprised. His eyes gazed heavily into hers, bright golden orbs blazing with a passion. His eyes widened as he watched her pupils slowly begin to change colors, her eyes becoming a glowing, silvery shade of white.  
  


"Then," she whispered, her hand coming up to touch his face, "You should try much harder." Her fingertips touched his face lightly; her fingers warm to the touch.  
  


Before he could blink, a large bolt of energy came from her hand, throwing him far away from the shrine. He stared at her, watching intently as she stood in the middle of the doorway, her body glowing with a luminescent light. Her hair loosened from the hair tie in the back. Strong winds picked up from the ground, blowing against her, making her hair flutter in all sorts of directions. Inu-Yasha could only stare in disbelief at her cold, emotionless eyes, even as the burn caused an incredible amount of pain. His eyes widen even further as several white, glowing orbs come from inside of her body, darting in and out of each other's path as they headed straight for him.  
  


On impulse, he dived away as several of the orbs missed him while another hit him on his arched back. He howled in pain as his eyes glowed with a passionate anger. "Kikyo!" he screamed, "What are you doing?"  
  


He darted away from even more bolts of light, trying to dodge the energy spheres while trying to get closer to her. He glanced up quickly, looking for her. His eyes made contact with hers and he gasped at what he saw. That brief instant, as he was caught unaware, three spheres crashed into him, sending crashing into the ground.  
  


"Inu-Yasha!"  
  


Inu-Yasha crawled off of the ground, his eyes darting back and forth, wary of more energy orbs that would come at him. He found none. Wary and hurt, he collapsed, his eyes closing as a reflex. Burned into his mind was the image of Kikyo, her body lifted up into the air with a bright white light surrounding her, her eyes wide open and completely terrified. There was a fear burned in those eyes as the energy willingly came out from her unwilling body. She had no control over her powers or her anger.  
  


Inu-Yasha groaned as he lifted himself off of the ground. "Kikyo," he moaned, forcing himself to open his eyes. "You..." he started.  
  


"Gomen, Inu-Yasha," came a weak voice.  
  


Inu-Yasha's eyes darted around until he found what he was looking for. She was no longer floating in the air; she wasn't even standing. Huddled in the corner of the doorway was the small form of Kikyo, her legs pressed up carefully against her body, her arms wrapped up protectively around herself and her head hidden within the comfort of her arms. "Kikyo," he whispered, trying to take a step towards her.  
  


"Do not!" she cried, her voice muffled.  
  


"You have to let me help, Kikyo, please," Inu-Yasha insisted, trying to keep is voice calm and soothing, but he himself was terrified too. "I... I know what's happening to you, so please..."  
  


"Anger... it is eating away at me, is it not, Inu-Yasha?"  
  


Inu-Yasha's shoulders drooped at the helplessness in her voice. The strong miko that Kikyo once was, reduced to a scared young girl like this. It wasn't right. It wasn't natural... It was horrible.  
  


"... Gomen ne, Inu-Yasha." Her voice was small and unsteady. "I did not mean to do that to you. I... know I had no control over this. And if I am right, I never will. There's an incredible amount of anger inside of me. There had always been since Urasue... and I did not recognize it until now. I am becoming stronger and stronger every day. I can feel you much more than I did as a priestess. I can feel whenever a demon is nearby, much more clearer now, since I am a demon now."  
  


Inu-Yasha cringed, clenching his fists angrily. Fate was incredibly cruel to them, to have this happen like this.  
  


"You must leave, Inu-Yasha." She paused, her voice becoming stronger now, and not so weak as it sounded before. "I will not give up without a fight. I will try to control this power to the best of my ability but... I can only do so much." Kikyo lifted up her head from her arms, her eyes glowing eerily again. "You must leave!"  
  


Inu-Yasha stared at her, this girl that he had never seen before. Anger burned inside that small shell of a body. It was truly a sight to behold and fear. How could it be that this human priestess, once so strong and fearful, was reduced to a shivering little girl in a corner, with the powers of a demon?  
  


"Leave!" she screamed. Once again, the light engulfed her, orbs shooting out, this time with her willing. He cursed as he dived away again, heading back into the forest with no pretense of going back. As he ran two orbs shot out from behind him and hit him once in the hip, another in the thigh. He screamed in agony, a curse echoing through the forest. Frustrated, he ran as fast as he could, ignoring the pain in his legs and leaped off of the ground into the sky. In turned his head back to look for the priestess. From the sky, he could still see her hard cold eyes glaring up at him.  
  


----------  
  


Inu-Yasha landed, completely tired and worn out, blood leaving his body at a dangerous pace. He leaned back on his branch, resting against the hard yet comforting bark of the tree. He ignored the pain and gave in to the weariness of his body, closing his eyes slowly. Before he fell asleep, he glanced at the well in hopes that she would come back soon. Perhaps this time, if she was willing, he would even let her dress his wounds.  
  


He gave into unconsciousness, a fever started to form. It did not help him when he began to inhale in the cold scent of his brother. Mixed in with the fever, he began to dream of his past, his childhood with his mother and what little time he spent with his father. His pleasant dreams quickly became nightmares, haunting him.  
  


Kikyo stared at his sleeping figure, a sad look in her eyes. She could sense the fever, and saw the trouble he was having with his horrid dreams. She was no longer surprised at her powers when she used them to lift herself off of the ground and into the sky, hovering skillfully at Inu-Yasha's side. With patience, she raised one hand over his head and the other above his chest. Closing her eyes, she concentrated on him and on her powers, taping into the energy that she possessed inside of her.  
  


Certainly she was afraid that she might let loose the anger that grew inside of her. But she was willing to take the chance to help Inu-Yasha for now, since after all, all of this pain was her fault.  
  


Slowly the fever began to recede, his body cooling down. Also, the wounds reverted to faded scars on his body. The only telltale signs that he had been hurt were from the tears in his clothing and the blood that soaked it.  
  


Worry shone brightly in her eyes just like the light of her powers shone around her body. Not only was she able to sense Inu-Yasha's fever, but she had also been able to sense that there had been another demon in the area, not too long ago. Earlier, when she had been watching Inu-Yasha sleep, as she watched him toss and turn from side to side, she had been able to recognize this. It had happened before, many times before. And she had been there to witness it.  
  


It had always been the same, the same dreams, the same words. The same rhythm of his breathing. She remembered that it was the fourth time when she had witnessed it, the morning after she asked him, "What dreams haunt you?"  
  


He had been quiet for a long time. She was afraid that he wouldn't tell her, that he didn't trust her enough to tell her. But then he finally said, "They are memories of when my brother killed my mother."  
----------  
Comments? Suggestions? Write to me: [Princess_Faux@hotmail.com][1] or visit my webpage: [http://www.sickrew.net/Princess_Faux][2].  
-----------  
**Authors's Notes**:

  * First off, I would like to thank everyone that has been so patient in waiting for this chapter to get out, and also for all the kind comments at FF.net. All of the reviews and comments, and especially the personal emails that I received help very much! So without you guys, I wouldn't have had the perseverence to continue this Fic, despite Fluffy and all his yumminess... ^.~ 
  * I would also like to apologize for the ridiculous amount of time that it took to get this chapter out. I would like to explain myself; this was just one of those chapters that you didn't really want to write, but you had to for the sake of the story. If you're a Fluffy (Sessho-Maru) fan, like I am, you were probably disappointed to find out that there was no Fluffy in this chapter! And that's how I was. I just wanted to skip this chapter and write about Kagome and Fluffy and... so I procrastinated and delayed. But it's not like I didn't try to write it... no, of course not. It was just that the first attempt was so... crappy that I didn't want to post it and you would have been more disappointed in me than what you already are! And it took months to get a better version out... and for that I apologize. But, if it helps, the next chapter should be out in two weeks--at the latest! because I am dying to write this chapter! 
  * I don't normally do this, but since this is FF.net and this is involving FanFic writers and readers, here goes: I am on a FanFic mailing list that isn't thriving as well as it could be, or as much as I want it to. I wanted a mailing list where I, as a writer, could mature. I am one of those... as I like to call it, 'reviewer' on the mL that I'm not. And I would like to expand this list. Please, please, if you're interested, either email me, or please check on my webpage: [http://www.sickrew.net/Princess_Faux][2] -- newly updated and everything. I set out a page and explained specifically what I want and why I want it, involving the list, of course; otherwise I wouldn't mind world domination =) Just kidding ^.^ Just click on the giant sunflower on the entrance page to get in, click on Anime, and then "Miscellany". There's the info you want! 
  * I would like to specifically address **ambientplink**: you noticed my spelling errors. As a request, if you're interested, would you like to be one of my Pre-Readers? I've been asking people if they could spot check my spelling errors since I get aggravated every time I see a mistake. ^.^ If you are, please [email me][1]. After all, I need all the help I can get =) 
  * Thank you so much for your time! I hope you'll be here for the next chapter. And as always, drop me a line! 

   [1]: mailto:Princess_Faux@hotmail.com
   [2]: http://www.sickrew.net/Princess_Faux



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